Raw Transcript: Session 9 — 2026-06-02

Campaign: Tip of the Diceberg
Source: Deepgram AI transcription (converted from JSON via scripts/extract_deepgram_transcript.py)
Status: Raw, unverified transcription

Transcript

[Speaker 0] Alright. So

[Speaker 1] here we go. This is our D and B session. Today is today is Tuesday, June 2.

[Speaker 0] Hello, recording device. This is your dungeon Oscar speaking. You are tuning in to episode 9 of the tip of the diceberg, a frothy and milky campaign set in Faerun. It began in Chult it began in Baldur’s Gate, but the party is now in Chult. This is the voice of the dungeon master aka Futch, aka Cassidy, aka Varrick Stickyfingers, aka, Bound Bitdoom, aka, Jabari Muktow, aka Syndra Sylvane, aka Throbbin Mistwillow, and many others.

[Speaker 1] I’m Bodius Tea. I’m a warlock, level 3 warlock, and I have a very artsy underground past.

[Speaker 2] This is Faf D’norwhal speaking. I’m a level 3 dwarf fighter. I’m keeper of everyone’s favorite toad, Moghammer.

[Speaker 3] Mhmm.

[Speaker 2] And when I when I tickle his belly, just ride, Moghammer lets me ride them. Moghammer is actually gender fluid.

[Speaker 3] Hello, recording device. This is Bonzo Nutley, a level 3 human monk. I am the son of a poor bean farmer from LeGoomia.

[Speaker 2] That’s about all you need to know about me. Atheist.

[Speaker 3] You know, I’m an atheist, man.

[Speaker 2] Drinks a lot.

[Speaker 4] Hello, robot. I am Isilrod Gurglestrom, dwarf bard level 3. Yeah. Who’s Clarky? Clarky is my friend.

[Speaker 4] Really trying to up that relationship. Kinda follow suit with Faf.

[Speaker 1] The lizard?

[Speaker 4] Clarky is a lizard.

[Speaker 1] That’s all you need to do.

[Speaker 2] A lot a lot of animal husbandry going along with the the dwarves.

[Speaker 0] He’s a zalub. You should be the same.

[Speaker 4] And owner of the Milk Maiden’s Voyage.

[Speaker 0] Captain. Yeah.

[Speaker 2] Captain. We share ownership.

[Speaker 3] Captain. Yeah. Sorry.

[Speaker 0] Yes. Robot. Yes. An important note, The Milk Maiden’s Voyage, formerly known as The Brazen Pegasus, was a merchant ship that delivered the party from Baldur’s Gate to Port Xibalba in the land Of Chult, not Port Nsar, Port Xibalba in the land Of Chult.

[Speaker 1] I don’t think you need to stand up for it.

[Speaker 3] We often get it in. Right. Right.

[Speaker 0] Yeah. During the during the journey on The Brazen Pegasus, the captain was waylaid and killed. The crew appointed Isilrod Gurglestrom to be the captain. Gurglestrom. Gurglestrom to be the captain, and he immediately renamed the boat to The Milk Maiden’s Voyage.

[Speaker 0] Since then

[Speaker 1] I’ve got I mean, I’ve got

[Speaker 0] all those. Yeah. The boat’s been in the harbor, and they’ve also erected the Milk Maiden’s Meadery within the ship, which sells mead and or supplies mead to the ship’s bar, which is Syndra’s Slop Shop. Very good.

[Speaker 1] Hell yeah. Ready to rock?

[Speaker 0] We’ll wait for Faf to return.

[Speaker 2] Should we have you sing for it so as your singing voice? No. I

[Speaker 0] think that’s enough of that. That thing doesn’t exist anymore.

[Speaker 1] What does this exist anymore? The recording device. It’s just a passive listener

[Speaker 0] Mhmm. On our journey. That’s to be secure. The recordings will never go anywhere. I’ll never Yeah.

[Speaker 0] Our cloud.

[Speaker 1] Well, just the shit out. Don’t say your government name on the recording anyway.

[Speaker 2] What is the app?

[Speaker 1] I’m just recording with the the Pixel 10 recording

[Speaker 2] app. Oh, okay. So you’re saving it locally on your phone before you upload it?

[Speaker 1] It does a transcription, but I’m probably gonna use another thing called Deepgram, which is a transcription.

[Speaker 4] Still stands here. Private server. You’re a pixel guy?

[Speaker 0] Yeah. You got a private I’m a pixel guy. It all will say on that. Honestly, I was thinking

[Speaker 4] Dedicated jobs for becoming a pixel guy recently.

[Speaker 1] I like it other than being a 2nd class citizen in group chats when everybody It’s weird.

[Speaker 3] Everybody got the MacBook and

[Speaker 2] the Pixel.

[Speaker 1] I love the MacBook.

[Speaker 4] Not a big ecosystem guy.

[Speaker 3] You you don’t like the compatibility?

[Speaker 1] Yeah. I don’t know. I’ve just always been a Google Pixel guy.

[Speaker 0] You use all Google apps on your MacBook. Right?

[Speaker 1] I mean, it’s just, like, it’s just a computer. I mean Right. Whatever.

[Speaker 0] Anyways and so we begin once more after a month’s long hiatus wherein there were Japanese adventures, Chicagoan adventures, Detroitian adventures, and whatever nemag whatever. The tip of the diceberg. Last session, session 8 of this campaign, we have titled sewer jazz. It began with a raucous party or midway through a raucous party in the bowels of the Milk Maiden voyage. The origins of bowels.

[Speaker 0] In the Milk Maiden’s Voyage where y’all are hosting mini Port Xibalba’s, twirls, and humans and dwarfs alike. During the party, y’all met Lilith who who was searching or was about to go out on a search for Shago, Mosquito’s former partner and jungle explorer guide. Lilith is embarking into the jungle to search for Shago who is in turn searching for Mosquito who is lost. Mosquito being Flea’s father. Lilith said she last saw them near the Temple Of Gaiakam, and that’s where she intends to take you all because y’all agreed to have her lead you there as a guide through the jungle.

[Speaker 0] Before leaving the party, though, LeGrand, Watto’s right hand man, briefed y’all on Watto’s plan to overthrow and put an end to Jabari Muktow’s undercover scheme to take over Xibalba. But the raid, Watto’s raid of the Muktow compound has been delayed because they need Artus Cimber, 1 of Jabari and Watto’s childhood friends. They were a trio of sorts because Artus Cimber bears the ring of winter, which is the only item that may be able to help temp tip the balance of the fight against Jabari who himself possesses some powerful item that makes him nigh impossible to kill. So in 1 month’s time, there will be a raid. But in the meantime, LeGrand informed y’all that Artus Cimber is within the Chultan Jungle.

[Speaker 0] He he knows not where, but if y’all could pass along the message that there is a there is a war brewing, a cold war at present, but a cold war that will go hot between Jabari and Watto.

[Speaker 1] And LeGrand is going out on his own, right, to to into the jungle as well? Yes. Yeah.

[Speaker 0] On a different on a different route. After the party, you all did some jungle prep and shopping. Bonzo ate Balm Bitdoom’s raven feather, which gave him the power to turn into a raven 3 times per day for an unlimited period of time. Bought Cassidy, that old pygmy ogre that was brought on a was delivered to Port Xibalba basket upriver.

[Speaker 2] Basically, oh, yeah. I gotta chat. I got a AI agent for

[Speaker 3] that. That could be

[Speaker 4] a niche website. Placenta tracker.

[Speaker 2] Placenta near me. No. Give me 1

[Speaker 0] of these shirt.

[Speaker 2] Alright. We’re

[Speaker 1] back. We’re live.

[Speaker 2] We’re live. Are we on?

[Speaker 3] No. We’re on.

[Speaker 0] Have we been on? No. I hope not. It’d be a lot out of context. Mhmm.

[Speaker 0] Right. So the party went shopping in preparation. Bodius bought Cassidy’s rainbow ink and paint package, a rope, and some marbles. Isilrod played Cassidy a song that was

[Speaker 1] so moving,

[Speaker 0] Cassidy gave him a bargain on Volo’s guide to everything and some health potions. Bodius cracked open that underwater chest that Faf had retrieved from the bathhouse. Inside it was a map to the lost ship, The Bounty, which disappeared many hundred years ago under the tutelage of Captain Robin. And it indicated that Captain Robin was on a hunt for Aremag’s treasure hoard and that the lost ship, the Bounty, was discovered at the Dawn Warrior Island off the East Coast Of Chult. Also within the chest was a half of water breathing, which Faf gave to Bonzo.

[Speaker 0] The party then, all of a sudden, remembered their obligation to contact the bomb that dooms people within 7 days of arriving in Portovalda. They descended into the sewers, slayed a zombie, and found a cozy little hobbit hole style cottage with smooth jazz and pasta. Inside was Balm Bitdoom himself, a wily creature, somehow already in Xibalba. Balm Bitdoom gifted Bodius a type of smoke monsters, and then he listened to Isilrod and Bonzo perform an average song most excellently. Throbbin’s Goblins.

[Speaker 0] What was the name of that? The man.

[Speaker 1] The wreck of the milkman’s voyage. Voyage.

[Speaker 0] The Wreck of the Moghammer’s Voyage. No relation to our dearly departed Canadian friend. He loved Balm loved the song. And those insufficient to suffice as a party’s payment for the debt owed for the magical gifts he gave in episode 1, he did note that the playing of The Milk Maidens the rest of The Milk Maiden’s Voyage unlocked the glowing invitation to a Midsummer’s Night Song that Isilrod had in his possession, revealing the location of the night song to be at Old Tin Top’s Juke Joint and Casino, which lies somewhere in the Chulton Jungle to be conducted in 5 nights’ time. Then Balm made the real dead.

[Speaker 0] The party must retrieve the Kilburg card deck from Ras Nsi’s pocket within 3 months. If they succeed, they keep Balm’s gifts except for 1 item, which they must return of their choosing. If they fail, Balm says he will kill 1 party member unceremoniously. Bonzo wisely demand demanded this contract in writing. And before disappearing, Balm Bitdoom said, and beware of Throbbin’s Goblins, the symposium is always watching.

[Speaker 0] Was that a threatening statement or a friendly word of advice? Thereafter, Dr. Robin’s Goblin’s created the Milk Maiden’s Metery, also known as Syndra’s Slop Shop, to sell Milk and Meat while they are away. Flea will run the taps. Doctor.

[Speaker 0] Aubrey will make the mead, and Syndra will manage the operation. Finally, using Cassidy’s Every Color of the Rainbow package, the party completed Moghammer’s Hot Wheels flame tattoo. The session ended at 1st light with Lilith escorting the party and the canoe and Moghammer outside of Port Xibalba and into the jungle through the Shoshone River. Shoshone River. Shoshone.

[Speaker 0] Therein, we begin with our party drifting away from civilization and into an over clad jungle along a nearly still water stream of river. Okay. And so we’ll be up.

[Speaker 1] Alright. So we’re just vibing in these canoes headed down stream. Yeah.

[Speaker 0] So I think there are

[Speaker 1] 2 canoes, 1 lock hammer. Bonzo is flying. Mhmm.

[Speaker 0] Yeah. Okay.

[Speaker 3] Flying as well because I think I

[Speaker 0] think we did

[Speaker 3] have Raven form? We didn’t have space for me in the connection.

[Speaker 0] You’re in Raven form. Mhmm. Faf is mounted upon Moghammer.

[Speaker 2] And he swings his axe at something in the water.

[Speaker 0] The amphibious vehicle. Okay. 7. Just a mighty splash. Just roughing distilled water.

[Speaker 2] Sorry, guys. Thought I saw something. And

[Speaker 3] then there’s

[Speaker 2] Definitely didn’t miss. I just didn’t There’s Bodius

[Speaker 0] and his rod in the canoe with Lilith. Lilith. Lilith.

[Speaker 1] Oh, yeah. You’re kinda into Lilith. Right? For sure. You’re trying to mack

[Speaker 2] a little bit.

[Speaker 4] She is kinda into me too. So back

[Speaker 3] to school. So you and your shirt off while you’re pulling in from her? Not yet.

[Speaker 0] Flexing your

[Speaker 1] Real Tarsan or anything?

[Speaker 3] Taking it easy.

[Speaker 0] Oh, okay. Yes, Lilith says. I believe from our location today, we’re about 40 miles from where I believe the Temple Of Kayakhan to be. Should we make haste there directly, or do you have other designs upon the jungle?

[Speaker 2] We need to get some kills. Some easy stuff.

[Speaker 0] Some easy Fear not mighty dwarf. The the undead proud of these lands. We are in their territory now.

[Speaker 1] I think we make straight to is the Temple Of Kayakon on the River Of Shock Shoshin Star?

[Speaker 0] It’s not far away. She pulls out a map, this map, which y’all every everyone owns this map. But to direct you to the map, she will highlight where it is. Yes. So it’s a rough coordinate.

[Speaker 0] As you know, each of these hexes is 10 miles across. And it if we travel fastly, we can cover 20 miles a day, 2 hexes a day by river. Walking, 1 hex a day tops. Mhmm. But we believe that the temple of Kayakhan likely resides in this hex.

[Speaker 1] Should we draw a little circle on that?

[Speaker 0] Y’all can draw all over this map.

[Speaker 2] This is

[Speaker 0] the most drawing. Yep.

[Speaker 2] Yeah. I’m sorry. I got a ray

[Speaker 0] under. It’s okay.

[Speaker 1] Is that you?

[Speaker 4] This 1 you send, boss.

[Speaker 3] Yeah. You do it.

[Speaker 2] Alright. Where we are right now?

[Speaker 1] I know. No.

[Speaker 4] That’s where we wanna go.

[Speaker 1] That’s where at kinda, like, right here, I think.

[Speaker 4] Where could these hexes? In the jungle.

[Speaker 2] And each little hex is how far?

[Speaker 1] We’re 40 miles out. So we’re 1 2 3 4. We’re, like, right here.

[Speaker 2] Let’s all get in there.

[Speaker 0] Mhmm. Yep.

[Speaker 2] Yeah. So we’re good.

[Speaker 0] Yeah. I mean,

[Speaker 3] you’re What are the what’s the

[Speaker 2] route like? What are we talking about? Kinda rapids? You know?

[Speaker 0] The the water is still mostly the Ocean Star is largely it’s it’s still water, swampy. I have not gone more than 20 miles past this location where I believe we should disembark. So I cannot say what lies beyond. Some say that there’s a great basin where lobster folk crawl Lobster

[Speaker 4] folk. Yes.

[Speaker 0] The Algani.

[Speaker 2] Lobster folk sell lobster skin armor for tits.

[Speaker 3] No 1

[Speaker 0] knows really about them.

[Speaker 2] It’s possible.

[Speaker 0] That would that might be canonistic.

[Speaker 2] He needs a tiny helmet. Yeah. A lobster helmet.

[Speaker 1] Lobster people? Like a lobster claw helmet. I do not know. Downstream.

[Speaker 0] As as as you can see by this map here, which is 1 of the most explored maps in all of the jungle that I’ve acquired from Shago himself, There’s not much explored inlets to be sure. Anything that’s marked on there, could tell you about it and perhaps it’s more, but the the basin, it could be 1000 miles away for all I know. Were there any These lobster folk are are the Aldani. All we know of them are in text. I’ve never met anybody that’s seen them.

[Speaker 0] All that to say, I don’t think we’re in for the most bumpy of rides, but there are waterfalls from what I’ve seen. 1 about we’ll probably reach there tonight to the Loud Cove.

[Speaker 2] That was a good place for camp. I think we just travel up river, and we make clapping noises while going up the river to simulate lobster claws to see if we could draw out these. Mhmm.

[Speaker 1] You mean down river? Yes. Yeah. I’m all for a river trip. Yeah.

[Speaker 1] Anybody bring cigs?

[Speaker 3] Mhmm. Oh, yeah. He’s got the Wait. Someone

[Speaker 0] does got my

[Speaker 2] bag of pipe. Right?

[Speaker 1] Yeah. I pull out my my pipe of smoke.

[Speaker 4] Are there any predators that Valhabra should be aware of in the river?

[Speaker 1] Any what? Predators. Predators.

[Speaker 0] Sea creatures. I’ve never seen 1 this north on the Socenstar, but the un fortunately, the undead do stay away from the rivers. I doubt I doubt we’ll face any of them. But, of course, there are undead tigers, 4, werebores, many different varieties. Perhaps there could be 1 of a an aquatic walnut.

[Speaker 0] Oh my god. Undead fish. Intimidating. Can we eat them? Yeah.

[Speaker 0] Can we eat undead? Do they produce milk? I’ve burned. They produce milk.

[Speaker 2] I’ve burned

[Speaker 0] every zombie I’ve saved. Okay.

[Speaker 2] Fair enough. I appreciate that.

[Speaker 0] Up the river?

[Speaker 1] Yeah. I mean, we let’s

[Speaker 3] keep I mean Keep cranking? Like I have a

[Speaker 2] good vantage point. I’m I’m up above, so I can kinda

[Speaker 3] scout out. Mhmm.

[Speaker 1] You know? You take point. Let us know if you see anything Yeah. Of note. Yeah.

[Speaker 0] Yes. Oh, yes. Okay. Y’all float down the river, canoe in the front, moghammer and Faf in the rear with a bird flying. How far above?

[Speaker 2] I’m close enough to, like, still be able to, like, banter with everybody. Like, you know, like, like, pass that cig over.

[Speaker 4] Alright. Yeah.

[Speaker 2] And they they lift it up, and

[Speaker 3] I swoop down and put it

[Speaker 2] my mouth, and I take it for a few few seconds. Faf is is shredding his his fine garments that have since been replaced with chain mail. And we’re painting the he’s he’s borrowed some ink, and I’m I’m putting the narwhal family crest on a a flag of sorts that were What do you

[Speaker 0] mean by the flag?

[Speaker 2] A flag that that that that pokes off of Moghammer’s butt.

[Speaker 0] But what what is the wood?

[Speaker 2] What’s the wood? Or It’s it’s a manticore spike with with shredded fine wooden clothing Very good. Turned into I’ve

[Speaker 0] got some

[Speaker 2] into a DeNarwhal family banner. Everyone’s flying under the Narwhal family banner where it wasn’t consensual, but but the are fording the river.

[Speaker 1] I got some Manticore blood that could contribute to that. It’s it’s, like, purple or whatever from the from the sussy juicing Yeah. Operation in town.

[Speaker 0] Oh. Every expedition needs a flag.

[Speaker 2] I’m gonna paint my face with

[Speaker 1] it too. Well, use it for the sickle. Okay. If there’s extra, you can smatter it on

[Speaker 2] your face. I’m gonna smatter a little little mansacore blood on

[Speaker 4] my face as well. Alright.

[Speaker 0] Perfect. Well, with this flag erected, y’all have encountered almost no problems as you float down the river. You start to feel a sense of maybe the jungle is not as dangerous as it’s chopped up to be. But with every extra kilometer covered, covered. You notice that on the banks, the jungle grows thicker and denser Okay.

[Speaker 0] And more populated with strange sounds, but not seeing very many creatures emerging from the banks. Very ominous in a way, but also nature at its uncivilized prime.

[Speaker 2] Faf is perceiving useful debris Throwing. On on the on the shore’s edges.

[Speaker 0] You see some driftwood, some mangrove droppings, but nothing of any human.

[Speaker 2] Carry on.

[Speaker 4] I’m gonna chat up Lilith for a sec. Alright. I imagine you must be quite at peace on the river considering your dark, dark past.

[Speaker 0] Well, it’s I I do find solace out here to some extent, but no peace wouldn’t be the right word for I’ve I’ve lost a a companion. I’ve lost my partner, Shago. And

[Speaker 4] Yeah. When you say partner

[Speaker 0] Oh. Well use a lot. Don’t don’t get it. No. Mentor might be a better 1.

[Speaker 0] 0, okay. No.

[Speaker 2] No. No.

[Speaker 4] I just it’s not I’m not jealous or anything. I just I I’m trying to understand if it’s the river that makes me feel at peace or if it’s being in this canoe with you.

[Speaker 1] I’m in the bag, and I’m like, what what are you guys talking about?

[Speaker 0] We’re talking about the nature of of peace in a violent land. Mhmm. My dear my dear warlock friend.

[Speaker 4] I stick my hand back, and I sand in Bodius’ legs

[Speaker 1] like this. Take a take a big drag of my my my monster pipe, and I slowly exhale. And it’s it’s a it’s something distinctly phallic, and it slowly extrudes, and it’s aimed straight for Isilrod’s mouth.

[Speaker 4] It just keeps coming.

[Speaker 1] Roll roll for dog. He’s got a smoke with my body. Bodius just smokes

[Speaker 2] phallic smoke. It’s got

[Speaker 4] a white tadpole. I got a roll for that.

[Speaker 2] Yeah. Okay. Okay. Okay. Good.

[Speaker 0] 9. 9. The the phallic dust of smoke does hit you directly on the nose, but Lilith did not see it at all. And she says, yes. I As it as it taste can not be the right word, but I do feel a certain contentment and trust among you and yours.

[Speaker 1] As it brushes your nose, I just go, boop.

[Speaker 0] Okay. As as we progress, are y’all wanting to okay. So you have 2 options on every travel. You can either elect fast travel or slow travel. On your regular travel speed in a canoe, you’ll go 2 hexes per day or per sunup to sundown.

[Speaker 0] If you elect fast travel, you could go 3 hexes. But if you don’t roll a above a d 14 on a survival check, you are susceptible to the ambush.

[Speaker 1] Mhmm.

[Speaker 0] And that’s it.

[Speaker 1] Well, I think no reason to be ambushed, boys. I think we just take her easy. Take her easy. Yeah. Mosey our our our sweet little way down this road.

[Speaker 3] It’s kinda nice. Yeah.

[Speaker 1] Yeah. It’s People are there’s romance in the

[Speaker 2] air. Yeah.

[Speaker 4] Think Lilith just turned me down. She said she felt calm with me and mine, not, like, just me. Mine is pretty direct.

[Speaker 1] It’s early days, brother.

[Speaker 2] Yeah. You just you just met her. Hey. Come on. Can we fast track?

[Speaker 3] Fast track the relationship?

[Speaker 4] 2 adventures.

[Speaker 2] So what happens to their relationship?

[Speaker 3] We fast track.

[Speaker 1] Can I can I roll survival for this relationship?

[Speaker 3] Does he build a does he build his bond faster? Faster?

[Speaker 4] I imagine Heath also is down to get a Faf. Sorry. Sometimes my Bard Inn accent

[Speaker 3] sounds little off. Heath

[Speaker 4] is an unrelated word to anything that we know.

[Speaker 2] And the chief what?

[Speaker 4] Anyways, I’m imagining Faf wants to get ambushed. Oh, that’s true. Kinda teammate.

[Speaker 1] Alright. Fuck it. Let’s let’s haul ass.

[Speaker 2] I think we should get fucking ambushed.

[Speaker 3] That’s correct. Checked out that treasure map.

[Speaker 1] How many people have to roll d 20?

[Speaker 2] Anybody know where the treasure map, like, leads to?

[Speaker 1] Oh, we have a treasure map?

[Speaker 0] Yeah. The map that The Bounty, Aremag’s Lair, Captain Robin.

[Speaker 1] Mhmm. Is that way off, or is that on the way?

[Speaker 0] Y’all, yeah, y’all know where it is. It’s over here.

[Speaker 3] Oh, Jesus Christ. Way out

[Speaker 2] there. Yeah. Okay. Furnished. We’re gonna need to figure out fast travel.

[Speaker 2] We have to explore 1st. Yeah. Let’s get fucking ambush. Cover some ground.

[Speaker 3] Sounds good. I

[Speaker 2] need I need kills. Alright. Yeah. I’m trying to

[Speaker 0] get in.

[Speaker 2] I need 3 kills.

[Speaker 3] We can handle this ambush.

[Speaker 2] Like, I need the finishing blows.

[Speaker 0] Are y’all electing to fast? Let’s fast travel. Okay. You move with speed. Wait.

[Speaker 0] Wait.

[Speaker 1] Who are who’s rolling? It’s up to you. You got it. Let’s hit this. It’s a d 10.

[Speaker 0] It’s a 10. Okay. So you did fail. So you are susceptible to ambush.

[Speaker 1] Okay. But we’re not necessarily ambushed.

[Speaker 2] Let me read

[Speaker 3] my fortune 1st

[Speaker 2] before we

[Speaker 3] 1 other rule of outing for your loved 1.

[Speaker 4] They’ll cherish it. Oh, that’s a good sign.

[Speaker 0] That is a good sign. Another rule of the road as we progress, if you when you exit from 1 hex to another, the navigator, and y’all can only elect 1 navigator, will have to make a roll to determine whether or not you get lost, which basically means that if you move into a hex, you may move into any of the 6 hexes around you if you’re lost.

[Speaker 2] The Narwhal never gets lost. You

[Speaker 0] won’t know.

[Speaker 4] Shouldn’t it be Lilith?

[Speaker 1] Because she’s kind of actually the navigator. Mhmm. Or Porto, who get busted

[Speaker 0] off the course. But if you are on the river, you won’t get lost because you’re on

[Speaker 2] the river.

[Speaker 1] I think we should plan

[Speaker 2] to stick to the river for 40

[Speaker 1] miles and then see what’s going on there because that’s where the Yeah.

[Speaker 0] The navigation check is survival too.

[Speaker 3] Okay. He’s got the highest survival. And you need a What’s the bonus? Here’s 3.

[Speaker 2] That’s pretty good. And you

[Speaker 0] need a you need a 15 if you’re off river or off ocean. There’s 3?

[Speaker 2] Yeah. I think I got 0. I got 1. Yeah.

[Speaker 4] It’s a horrible 3.

[Speaker 0] It’s a horrible

[Speaker 2] That’s why you’re the captain. Yep.

[Speaker 1] I really get it. I feel like

[Speaker 4] So I have to roll over 14 for us to stay on river?

[Speaker 0] And No. Only when you’re off the river in the jungle Mhmm. You can you’re susceptible to being lost. So every time you exit a hex, you have to roll, and you may end up going to a hex. You didn’t play.

[Speaker 0] You won’t know where you

[Speaker 1] But we’re staying on the river for 40 4 hexes.

[Speaker 3] Yeah.

[Speaker 1] Till at least till we get to the area it’s supposed to be, then

[Speaker 3] we’ll peel off. Yeah. Yeah.

[Speaker 1] Sure. I like the Alright. So where we at now?

[Speaker 0] Okay. It’s an

[Speaker 2] easel rod to be navigated then. As

[Speaker 0] the sun droops, you find yourself emerging along the river. The sunset is going down. A red glow is shimmering on the river, and you find yourself right here. Right there, into rivers left or power’s left, there is a slight inlet with a sandy beach and about a 20 foot waterfall trickling down. Fireflies have started to come out, not very many, but some of them are out.

[Speaker 0] The beach is about 10 yards wide, and then it’s immediately, like, a wall of greenery.

[Speaker 1] So that’d be the safe option. But hear me out, boys. What if we just did a did a good old classic float through the night? Mhmm. And They used to do this back in my in my hometown on multi days where you would just you tie everybody together, basically Mhmm.

[Speaker 1] And then you just float all night. While sleeping? While sleeping. How many how many miles do you think we would cover if we did that, Lilith.

[Speaker 0] From sunrise to sunup, you could do 2 more hexes or, I mean, 20 more miles.

[Speaker 4] I do just wanna make sure we don’t miss Old Tin Top’s Juke Joint.

[Speaker 3] Yeah. That’s true too. We don’t

[Speaker 4] really know that location. Right?

[Speaker 1] Well, I think we have to go to the other thing 1st because that’s 5 days from now.

[Speaker 0] Old Tin Top’s Juke Joint and Casino is. Right. You don’t? Hello? But I do love the mystery.

[Speaker 0] I

[Speaker 1] don’t think we know exactly where it is yet. We just know that it’s in 5 days.

[Speaker 2] Yeah. So we won’t cover that

[Speaker 1] enough ground. But that yeah. We’ve we’ve got a couple days.

[Speaker 4] So you guys don’t also wanna, like, I don’t know, bathe under the waterfall

[Speaker 2] where Alright.

[Speaker 1] We can I mean, we can do that? Fireflies.

[Speaker 0] We all feel it.

[Speaker 1] I mean, it’s a tight canoe. It could be it could be a tight fit to sleep on it overnight.

[Speaker 2] What’s the rush, man? Mean, this this is let’s enjoy the flow. Like like yeah.

[Speaker 0] It’s a check outside. Quick.

[Speaker 3] Alright. Yeah. Return it in, man.

[Speaker 2] Afternoon afternoon. Waterfall hang out and then overnight haven’t heard this 1.

[Speaker 1] The does.

[Speaker 0] Yeah.

[Speaker 2] Yeah. Port does. Yeah.

[Speaker 1] Alright. We’re gonna peel off. It sounds like

[Speaker 2] I gotta pee. We’re gonna stop.

[Speaker 4] Yeah. I just feel like I’ve been, you know, so sweaty from killing people and singing songs. I just kinda need to rinse under this waterfall.

[Speaker 0] Mhmm.

[Speaker 4] I’m gonna get rinse.

[Speaker 2] This is suggestive. I don’t think you should rinse alone. It’s too dangerous.

[Speaker 1] It’s too dangerous. Roll for

[Speaker 0] roll for persuasion. Kind of shit? No. Roll for just straight up charisma.

[Speaker 4] 10.

[Speaker 3] Might get more than that. Right?

[Speaker 4] It’s just a 1.

[Speaker 1] Plus 1. 11. What about my 3? It’s charisma. Just straight up charisma.

[Speaker 1] Oh, yeah. It’s your modifier above the in the big box.

[Speaker 4] Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It’s 1. So 11.

[Speaker 4] Oh, 10. I was

[Speaker 1] like, you’re gonna hit 1. 0.

[Speaker 0] Yeah. So let’s let’s be each, and I would like I would like a clean. Who doesn’t who can’t resist a waterfall? Alright. Y’all y’all pour it.

[Speaker 0] I have to pee. Y’all talk. Y’all y’all are canoeing, mock hammer. Describe how you’re setting up camp. You’re camping.

[Speaker 0] Mine says what? It’s a

[Speaker 1] path to improvement. Okay. So Alright. I like our vibe with Bonzo taking point. He’s got the the lookout.

[Speaker 1] Mhmm. Lilith, she doesn’t even really fucking know. All she knows that is that this thing is 40 miles down.

[Speaker 0] That’s And

[Speaker 4] she doesn’t even know

[Speaker 3] it’s there. Except

[Speaker 4] for Le Diablo.

[Speaker 1] Why the fuck did we she I mean, what

[Speaker 4] She’s so much more than that. I mean Sounds like she’s really into the Aldama.

[Speaker 3] She’s kind of

[Speaker 1] Sticking the mud, dude. Oh, the lobster people could be an interesting vibe. Yeah.

[Speaker 2] I’m trying to make lobster armor for Moghammer. I we can Moghammer’s under armor.

[Speaker 0] Right? Moghammer has flames,

[Speaker 2] but we need to get armor on the toe. That’s that’s right.

[Speaker 4] Especially in this river. Yep. They are We don’t know what’s in there.

[Speaker 2] Are we gonna be belly armor?

[Speaker 1] Are we gonna be grave diggers? How are you gonna I mean, these guys are

[Speaker 3] lobster people.

[Speaker 2] What about it?

[Speaker 1] Well, maybe They’re gonna sell you the bodies of their dead. What do lobsters like?

[Speaker 2] Shell some lobsters and use their shells to make mozzie.

[Speaker 4] They also shed. So maybe they, like, keep their lobster shells.

[Speaker 2] That’s what I was looking on the shores for was lobster shells. It’s basically

[Speaker 3] must be open to trade. Like, you know, we we get some nice lobster What if we delicacies.

[Speaker 2] Dress Moghammer up like a lobster.

[Speaker 3] Oh, actually

[Speaker 2] Now they don’t know what’s

[Speaker 3] going on.

[Speaker 1] But you can you can present a lot at a Hot Wheels.

[Speaker 3] You guys can present as a lobster. Right?

[Speaker 1] Nobody’s gonna mistake him for a lobster.

[Speaker 2] He’s got you can cover a tattoo with a shirt, dude. Yeah. Come on.

[Speaker 0] You can change shape shift. Right? Oh my god.

[Speaker 1] Oh, shit. I can do something. A lobster guy. I can actually shape shift.

[Speaker 0] Yeah. Yeah. 2 shape shifters.

[Speaker 2] You guys should

[Speaker 1] just be lobsters. Lobster. Lobster loves. I can disguise self.

[Speaker 2] Why do we have to talk about the lobster? Fun in the head.

[Speaker 0] The the night has has dropped low, and Lilith has swam out to the to the waterfall.

[Speaker 3] It’s nerdy.

[Speaker 2] Faf and Moghammer Fall. I’m just kidding. I It was a fake out.

[Speaker 3] It was

[Speaker 2] a fake out. You got it, dude.

[Speaker 4] Yeah. I was I was actually just leaving the waterfall. I’m kinda playing it chill right now. And I’m I’m just singing songs with my lute.

[Speaker 1] I’m I’m drawing I’m drawing, you know, pictograms in the sand trying to connect with my connect with my past, with my history, my inner artist, and my, you know, my my inner powers as a multidimensional, mysterious artist.

[Speaker 2] Dimensional. Yeah.

[Speaker 1] It’s very fraught. It’s giving my chemical romance, giving Yes. Middle school Mhmm. Emo era. You know?

[Speaker 3] Pete from Fall Out Boy.

[Speaker 1] A lot of crosshatching.

[Speaker 4] Shadowmoon. That’s what I’m doing. Reminiscing on my relationship with my bard mommy who was really into this band Genesis and loved the song Lily White Lilith. Hard mommy. So I’m just singing

[Speaker 0] Lily White Lilith. Over and over and

[Speaker 4] over again. But, like, out of reach from Lilith, so she can’t hear me. She just sees me, like, really quietly, calmly playing my dulcimer.

[Speaker 0] And where are you? South. On the riverbanks. On the riverbanks.

[Speaker 4] All the the fireflies that surround me.

[Speaker 2] Not all of them because I have a jug full of Beautiful. I’ve used 1 of the milk jugs to fill with as many fire fireflies as I can. So Moghammer now has this mounted jug.

[Speaker 1] You’re gonna

[Speaker 2] have to roll

[Speaker 1] for how many? Oh, shit.

[Speaker 2] Talking 19. 19 fireflies. 19 fireflies in a jug.

[Speaker 0] Yeah. In the collection process, you did you you did only have 19. You got 38 fireflies in a jug. Okay. So you’ve got a very lit up jug of firefly.

[Speaker 0] Yep. A jug of fireflies.

[Speaker 3] And I’m enraved But

[Speaker 0] in that in the process, you as you are sealing the jug, you hear a a tiny rustling and squeaking sort of behind and around you. And

[Speaker 2] it Okay.

[Speaker 0] And it’s right behind you, this noise. And you turn to try and see it, but it’s gone. There’s there’s nothing. It’s just, like, a slight piece of foliage plant fluttering the wind as if something was just there. But with the closing of the jar and the fireflies,

[Speaker 2] it’s just here. I take deck collector and chop down all the nearest plants.

[Speaker 0] Very good. Meanwhile, on the river going Clear cut the forest. There are

[Speaker 2] I’m just clear cutting in 1 direction, like, for a ways.

[Speaker 0] There are firewoods surrounding the music that is being played. And, there’s significantly more that are are in the air. The ballet is made up we’re around Faf, but they’re growing larger. And the the river right in front of the music is speeding up and quickening. Attack it.

[Speaker 0] And Lilith approaches, and she says, Isilrod, you’re you’re blessed by the jungle. Can you see this bounty of light amongst the darkness around you? What

[Speaker 2] did Lilith say?

[Speaker 4] Oh god. I hadn’t even noticed Lilith.

[Speaker 3] He’s blessed by

[Speaker 0] the Israel, I think it’s I I have never seen it before, I come I come from a very religious or pagan family. They told stories of the Chwinga. It’s sort of like a spirit forest or a forest spirit and maybe 1 of the only harmonious things that exist out here. And these are their signs. They’re said to to leave a gift for those pure of heart.

[Speaker 4] Well, though I might appear to be pure of heart, I’ve done some things.

[Speaker 0] Oh my god. At that moment, her she’s she shocks back. She goes, well, he he doesn’t think so. And on your lute fret or on the tuning knobs, there is a little tiny 6 inches tall, barky, sort of black barky creature with a frozen mask, like a white mask with black eyes for a face and moss, like a crowny moss. He hits this guy.

[Speaker 0] And then he Mister Disappears. Here he goes. And then disappears again. And Lilith has, you’ve been blessed by 1 of the. I That was I trust you with my That was the.

[Speaker 0] That was the.

[Speaker 4] That’s the cutest souls they’ve ever seen.

[Speaker 0] That was the. Nobody knows what they’re about. Few souls can report that a 20 guy has come to them for some reason or another, and I can’t explain it. And I lied earlier. I’m not so sure about you or yours.

[Speaker 0] But now now I trust you, Isilrod. I hope that you will extend me the same trust.

[Speaker 4] I trust you with my whole heart.

[Speaker 0] Lilith. Lilith. The blessing upon you enables you to read stars and constellations very clearly on night. Plus 2 to night survival checks.

[Speaker 2] Did you just describe Kodama from Princess Mononoke?

[Speaker 0] Basically. Yeah. Yeah. Basically, that’s the inspiration. Yeah.

[Speaker 0] Yeah. Basically, the inspiration.

[Speaker 2] Best Miyazaki film. Yeah. Totally. Okay.

[Speaker 0] That was a magical moment shared. And

[Speaker 2] You guys know what

[Speaker 0] it Now what what do y’all wanna do? Y’all are y’all are in control of this shit literally figuratively. Similar to those guys, but not entirely.

[Speaker 1] What time is it? Damn.

[Speaker 0] That is good to me. It is about the sun has set. It is it is now night, and the the moon is in a waxing gibbous posture.

[Speaker 1] Do we have a way to make a fire?

[Speaker 0] I could

[Speaker 1] Elder Blast some

[Speaker 2] I did I did clear cut, like, a good chunk of the forest.

[Speaker 4] Where are we gonna go ride and sleep?

[Speaker 1] I figured we sleep here. Right?

[Speaker 2] I think we should just light torches

[Speaker 0] and get the

[Speaker 1] rafts. Oh, you want to? Yeah. All night. Over night.

[Speaker 1] Place. That could be lit. It could be lit. Good. We should probably try to make some torches, though.

[Speaker 2] I’ve got a jug full of fireflies. That’s true. Is that enough? I don’t know.

[Speaker 0] It’s the equivalent of 1 super powerful torch.

[Speaker 2] Alright. Well, let’s strap it to the front of the canoe.

[Speaker 3] How about I’m in raven form?

[Speaker 2] Can I just start eating, like, a fireplace or something?

[Speaker 1] Glow internally? A little glow to my

[Speaker 0] No. No. No. You cannot Yeah. Know.

[Speaker 4] Doesn’t Clarky also glow in the dark? It does.

[Speaker 1] I have it, which is an arcane focused. You jeweled a card to channel arc I can use it as a spellcasting focus. K. Let’s type Yeah. Perhaps.

[Speaker 1] Oh, I don’t know.

[Speaker 0] What’s the spell called?

[Speaker 1] Do, like, a well, that’s But I could do I mean, could I do, like, a minor illusion? Can a minor illusion create light? No. No. I can’t create light.

[Speaker 1] Fire play.

[Speaker 0] I

[Speaker 1] can instantaneously or smoth out a candle torch or small campfire with cross designation. I do look around for some some sticks and twigs and stuff that I can kinda, like

[Speaker 0] Don’t tell

[Speaker 1] put together and make a little.

[Speaker 0] All night, doesn’t it? Yeah.

[Speaker 2] Oh, yeah. Yeah. Dark fishing for a 120 feet.

[Speaker 1] Mhmm. You know, I was I was putting all that together, and I was realizing that I could see everything. Could see everything.

[Speaker 4] I guess I could Spectacles. Those are human. Probably can’t see them.

[Speaker 2] I got Do use a special ink on Moghammer that glows anyways? Flame style?

[Speaker 1] Alright. Let’s let’s hop in the canoes, dude. Let’s fucking rip. Moghammer glows.

[Speaker 2] Rolling down

[Speaker 3] the river at night.

[Speaker 2] Dude, that’s glows and fireflies with the canoe tied behind. We’re floating.

[Speaker 0] The the Moghammer does not

[Speaker 2] We used blow paint. We’re gonna need

[Speaker 0] to get some of that.

[Speaker 2] Okay. We’ll we’ll touch up.

[Speaker 1] We’ll do some research on blow paint

[Speaker 2] because So Oh, wait. Sick. We just smashed the fireflies up

[Speaker 0] and ink them into his fucking Ink them. Yeah.

[Speaker 2] Ink them into his tits.

[Speaker 0] Could we do that? The dice would decide.

[Speaker 1] Alright. Let’s

[Speaker 4] well, if we lose this, we lose all the life from the fireflies.

[Speaker 1] No. We can can only see in the dark. 8 fireflies. Yeah.

[Speaker 4] You’re Just probably don’t. It’s cracked. I am gonna start playing rolling on the river.

[Speaker 1] I’m rolling d 20 for oh. The fireflies doesn’t work. That settles it. Firefly does not equate to glow tattooing me.

[Speaker 2] Alright. Alright. Fair enough. Yeah. It’s worth a shot.

[Speaker 2] It was

[Speaker 1] a good conversation point. It is. Yeah.

[Speaker 4] I started playing rolling on the river on my

[Speaker 2] back. Yeah.

[Speaker 0] Did anybody check waterfall?

[Speaker 4] It was usually, like, a

[Speaker 2] little secret.

[Speaker 3] We turn around

[Speaker 2] and and and route right towards the waterfall as a full as a full fucking Full 1 80. Pontoon. I can just fly

[Speaker 0] behind it.

[Speaker 1] Yeah. Fly under there and see what they Yeah.

[Speaker 0] I have 1 other note I meant to tell you, and for flying, your normal speed is 3 hexes a day. Mhmm. That’s your pace. And Okay. So you do get

[Speaker 3] Extra mobility.

[Speaker 0] The the that you have, your radio.

[Speaker 4] On my

[Speaker 3] more rhythm nose?

[Speaker 0] Yes. A monk detective. And and you kind of comes down and rips in quite tell if there is or even a cave or that you cannot tell. And it covers on full side, and so you’re left with the choice of flying straight through potentially

[Speaker 3] to. Okay. I gotta risk it. Fly straight through into that thing.

[Speaker 0] Yeah. You fly straight through, and there is a cavity. Oh. Very wise, sleuth like maneuver for you. And at the sort of it’s not very big.

[Speaker 0] It closes off to a moist sort of cavernous that’s kinda reflecting the falling water. But you do see a lot of glowing fungi. Have an interesting variety.

[Speaker 3] I’d like to,

[Speaker 2] you know, maybe peck it a little bit.

[Speaker 1] Are we over there yet in the canoe?

[Speaker 2] No. We showed up. Yeah.

[Speaker 0] Yes. Y’all are y’all are coming in now.

[Speaker 1] I see the I see the mold, and I immediately rolled it for paint.

[Speaker 0] For what? For

[Speaker 1] paint. For collecting Ink. The glowing

[Speaker 0] hard. Gloing the glowing fungi. Yeah.

[Speaker 1] The glowing fungi. We need to harness it for glow in the dark ink.

[Speaker 2] Yeah. So to make a glow in the dark giant if I were to.

[Speaker 0] Sure. Okay. Well, that’s not okay. It’s a 1.

[Speaker 2] It’s not 19. Gotta juggle not it. Every

[Speaker 0] glowing item. That you make is a tattoo.

[Speaker 2] I have no idea. I just happen to have a jug of glow.

[Speaker 0] Y’all actually weren’t even. What? Got it 1st. It’s your lube.

[Speaker 4] Hey. Hey, Bonzo. How’s it looking there?

[Speaker 3] That’s super just magical in here. There’s some balloon. I’m gonna

[Speaker 2] I’m really sorry.

[Speaker 3] You should Okay. Like,

[Speaker 1] peck at it a little bit, like, a

[Speaker 2] little sample, bring it back to my squad. You can use it.

[Speaker 4] Life tastes good with some butchie boob.

[Speaker 2] I got 4 empty jugs, dude.

[Speaker 3] Yeah. How much is there? Like, enough to fill the

[Speaker 0] probably about An 8. An 8?

[Speaker 3] Okay. I got

[Speaker 1] 8th of an ounce?

[Speaker 4] Yeah. And so that’s, like, all

[Speaker 2] I think we’re just harvesting that with my beak.

[Speaker 0] You can’t okay. You can harvest this time you think with your beak, but just if you pick up anything, the other day of mushrooms.

[Speaker 3] Fair. Fair.

[Speaker 0] And I will assume that you harvest them into your beak without ingesting.

[Speaker 1] Mhmm.

[Speaker 2] Yeah. They’re just, like, kinda sitting in my cavity. Rejected. I would like to take 1 and eat it.

[Speaker 0] He has the

[Speaker 3] Absolutely. I actually think we should all commit to this together.

[Speaker 4] I think so.

[Speaker 3] Just see what they’re not. I think it’s more fun than Flea just

[Speaker 2] I think we should just

[Speaker 3] see Blind. Going blind. Yeah. Shoot the shrimps.

[Speaker 1] I’m trying to connect with my inner artist, so I’ll I’ll commit to this. Alright.

[Speaker 2] I’ll go in with you guys.

[Speaker 4] Can I roll for investigation on this?

[Speaker 2] Faf eats 1.

[Speaker 3] Yeah. Of course.

[Speaker 0] These are fucking nuts.

[Speaker 4] That’s 19. Cool.

[Speaker 0] Yes. With your training Aubrey, you were of Volothe’s got to which this you know, very clearly is not a monster and generic other background and know how. You wanna meet her up for 3 days. You will not be able to sleep for 3 days. Wow.

[Speaker 1] Any side effects?

[Speaker 0] Last 6 hours of the 3rd day, you gain plus 3 to all rolls. Down. In the 1st 6 hours, you gain minus 2 to all rolls.

[Speaker 1] Mhmm. Fuck it. I’ll eat that. Alright, dude. Let’s fucking crank this shit.

[Speaker 0] As you’re eating it, it’s like, and it’s like harmonizing immediately with your entire organic ecosystem and then feel of what is to come. Mhmm. But it’s possible that you’ll forget. It won’t send the message along.

[Speaker 1] So it’s saying periods?

[Speaker 2] Do we want And

[Speaker 1] How many how many are left? Are there any left after we all Well, so we’re

[Speaker 4] taking them.

[Speaker 0] After that after the in the 8th, there was 6 heads.

[Speaker 3] Okay. Nice. Okay. So

[Speaker 0] And so if Lilith took 1

[Speaker 2] There’s only 5 of us. Moghammer and

[Speaker 4] Clarky could split 1.

[Speaker 0] There’s there’s 4 Moghammer So, yeah, I guess y’all could all yeah.

[Speaker 2] Yeah. It’s just

[Speaker 3] all in feed everybody with, like, through with my beak. It’s like in everybody’s mouth.

[Speaker 0] The spectacle is he is raving, Mark.

[Speaker 2] Mark hammer snatches the bird out of the sky with his tongue. Just bird back. No no shrimps up.

[Speaker 1] Okay. Try it all.

[Speaker 2] Are you ready to fall? No. Yeah. You do.

[Speaker 3] And then He’s trying

[Speaker 0] to, yeah, he’s trying to swallow you. No.

[Speaker 2] Does that even mean? How does that go wrong? He he

[Speaker 0] the the the tongue the tongue slaps the raven’s claws and drags and drags and drags right before ingesting. A mushroom falls free into Mogham. Cool.

[Speaker 2] So sweet.

[Speaker 3] Get a get a hold of that

[Speaker 0] beast of yours.

[Speaker 2] Please. Got a thing. Yep.

[Speaker 0] So why don’t the why doesn’t the Navigate?

[Speaker 1] Yeah. We’re doing a night float. So here’s here’s what we do. Well, I mean, we don’t really have to float anymore because we’re we’re gonna be awake for this. Mhmm.

[Speaker 1] So, normally, you would tie yourselves together like a big raft. You know? But since we’re since we’re all awake, I guess we can just we can just rage.

[Speaker 3] Yeah.

[Speaker 1] Should we should we roll again for another rage cycle where we expeditiously go quickly.

[Speaker 2] Let’s cover some ground?

[Speaker 1] Yeah. Let’s crank.

[Speaker 4] Yeah. Can we just, like, decide that we cranked until a certain point?

[Speaker 1] Try to get to that city thing so we can get

[Speaker 4] I do think maybe we get close to the that we send Bonzo ahead, especially in the night.

[Speaker 0] Because you’re Well, I mean, do we wanna

[Speaker 3] move fast? Because right now, we’re limited because we just took a mushroom, so we have negative 2 on each roll. And

[Speaker 2] But it’s wanna play

[Speaker 1] it, take,

[Speaker 2] you know, just take 6 hours goes by in no time. X

[Speaker 4] hexes a day. So half of it. That would be

[Speaker 3] Half a heck.

[Speaker 4] No. That’s all 6 hours will

[Speaker 1] 6 hours.

[Speaker 0] 3 x a day is 0.5 hexes in 6 hours. Yeah. That’s not quite right.

[Speaker 4] That sounds good enough. Enough round to hit the lost people.

[Speaker 1] Fuck. We’re cranking. That’s all we know. Okay.

[Speaker 0] And then I

[Speaker 4] think we send Bonzo out. Okay.

[Speaker 0] Y’all the lobsters out. After 4 hours of night travel, fast. Y’all are doing whatever y’all want if, you know, 4 hour and vines Mhmm. Grow thicker and sort of sort of, like, draping curtains. For hours.

[Speaker 0] Lilith begins to say, should we should stop here to go and to the Temple Of Kayakon. I do not know its exact location, but I do know that it resides K. To the jungle to the west.

[Speaker 1] Bonzo, how are you feeling? You wanna you feeling brave? You wanna scout out Eagle Eye? Scout the scout the the region a little bit?

[Speaker 3] I’m feeling pretty good. Like, this trip’s it’s been a good trip so far. I’m having setbacks. So I’m down to scout it out.

[Speaker 1] Alright. So we’ll we’ll pull off to the to the bank, and we’ll we’ll prepare for war or whatever is to come while Bonzo scouts a little bit. Get to scout on.

[Speaker 2] Faf’s looking around for small creatures.

[Speaker 0] Fuck. Nary a creature in sight, but the water does flow beneath, and the creatures just do not adorn the banks beyond insects. How do you fly?

[Speaker 2] I’m doing a leisurely fly. Just kind of, like

[Speaker 0] Through the trees or above the trees?

[Speaker 3] I wanna say above.

[Speaker 0] Above? Mhmm. The trees rise a 100 feet tall at the tallest forming an overstory canopy, and there’s, of course, an understory. But in the overstory canopy, as you rise above it through the trees through the over the the highest trees sort of coming out from the river and over, it’s thick, like, almost like grass. It’s varied.

[Speaker 0] There’s a lot of dimension and texture as the land undulates, but you cannot see it through it

[Speaker 4] at all.

[Speaker 2] And it’s still nighttime?

[Speaker 0] Still nighttime. Yeah. So you can only see, like, 40 feet ahead

[Speaker 1] of you.

[Speaker 3] I’m gonna have to get a little closer, I think, maybe.

[Speaker 0] In the nighttime at that height, at that elevation, the the waxing gibbous cast much light.

[Speaker 2] And then is there a firefly still?

[Speaker 0] None in the overstory.

[Speaker 3] None above the canopy. Okay.

[Speaker 2] Can I do a perception check just to see, like, if there’s any sort of, like, minor opening in the canopy? Is it anywhere around?

[Speaker 0] Yeah.

[Speaker 2] It’s a 9.

[Speaker 3] I think that’s just a 9 then.

[Speaker 0] An opening you search for, but the conclusion you reach is that it is thicker than a bill of tie. It’s thick. A bit thick.

[Speaker 2] I’m gonna go to, like, the highest tree kinda perch onto it and maybe just, like, kinda try to stick my head into the canopy, maybe look around a little bit.

[Speaker 0] You do, and your your vision, only 40 feet strong. As soon as you land on the branch and look down, the canopy disrupts the moonlight, and so it’s just sheer darkness in the understory.

[Speaker 1] Even with the goggles?

[Speaker 0] Well, you can see it for 40 feet, but the trees upon is a 100 feet tall. Not very useful. Alright.

[Speaker 2] Can I go halfway down the canopy?

[Speaker 1] Of course. How far out from the bank are you at?

[Speaker 2] Yeah. Can they still hear me if I squawk a little bit?

[Speaker 4] Keep calm. No. Yeah. You’re out

[Speaker 0] of range. Out of range? Shit. But you’re only, like, 15 feet in a canopy, but the the the chorus of insects, the the midnight doom dime insects is powerful.

[Speaker 3] Well, you know what we have? We got the feathers of sending. Kind of thinking maybe I could fly back real quick, give them feathers of sending, and then go in there.

[Speaker 1] What is that?

[Speaker 0] Of course. I’m surprised you haven’t. Sure.

[Speaker 3] The The feathers ascending is something given by

[Speaker 0] Clips of the oracle. Right? Or Bom Bit.

[Speaker 3] Bom Bitdoom. Yep. And you can send 1 med a, and it must take 15 seconds less to make a message if

[Speaker 0] He’s got a little cell phone.

[Speaker 2] Okay.

[Speaker 3] But I

[Speaker 2] can So

[Speaker 1] just send that. Doesn’t he doesn’t to come back, so he can just

[Speaker 0] Whoever holds, there’s 2 feathers.

[Speaker 1] Oh, there’s 2

[Speaker 2] of them.

[Speaker 0] Yeah. There’s 2 feathers. So 1 person can speak in the feather, the other person can receive it. They can speak in the feather.

[Speaker 1] Walkie talkie. So it’s only

[Speaker 0] 15 2nd messages once a day. Mhmm. I think

[Speaker 2] we can use that. I’ll I’ll just dive in

[Speaker 3] there real quick. Anything happens, you can confirm me.

[Speaker 2] Who has the other feather?

[Speaker 0] You have both the feathers.

[Speaker 1] Okay. Yeah.

[Speaker 2] Can I put 1 on Moghammer? Sure. Moghammer understand me. Oh, yeah. Other people can hear it if if Moghammer opens.

[Speaker 2] It’s it’s

[Speaker 3] Oh, and then it’s like I’m talking through Moghammer? Yeah. Yeah. It’s like a

[Speaker 2] Like a

[Speaker 0] And then A mic speaker system.

[Speaker 1] It’s mic a PA system.

[Speaker 4] Yeah. Okay.

[Speaker 0] Yeah. No. That goes. That goes.

[Speaker 3] Okay. Cool. If it’s

[Speaker 0] in Moghammer, fully expanded. It’s it’s a fully expanded jowl, then it will echo it out. Microphone it.

[Speaker 2] Mhmm. Okay. Sound pretty good about it too. That’s what alright.

[Speaker 0] That was creative and harmless. Let’s do that. Let’s see that.

[Speaker 3] So I’m gonna give it back.

[Speaker 0] Okay.

[Speaker 2] Give him 1

[Speaker 3] of the feathers to send and dive in there.

[Speaker 0] Dive back into the jungle? Mhmm. Okay. And then you go to the other story this time?

[Speaker 3] Yep. I’m going.

[Speaker 0] Just tell me how you’re going. You’re flying.

[Speaker 3] I’m flying, circling around, circling around, circling around.

[Speaker 0] It’s very thick, so just Yeah. You’re you’re sort of like a fighter jet in there.

[Speaker 2] Yeah. Okay.

[Speaker 3] But I’m pretty agile bird. You know? So

[Speaker 0] Well okay. Is that

[Speaker 3] mild? Is it acrobatics? Yeah. Okay. It’s a 7 then.

[Speaker 0] Okay. Nonetheless, you you are quite good through and you’re scanning. You’re scanning. You’re scanning. All you’re realizing is a very thick jumble, and that it’s it’s difficult.

[Speaker 0] And then out of the corner of your eye, you see what you think could be a person maybe, and then you run right into a vine trap. Oh, fuck. And you take 2 damage, but you fall out of it onto the canopy floor. In doing so, it breaks your raven form. Shit.

[Speaker 0] Okay. Any damage will take your take your Raven form.

[Speaker 2] Oh, really? Okay. Alright.

[Speaker 3] Shit. Well, I guess I’m on the

[Speaker 0] You only made it, like, a 100 feet into the jungle.

[Speaker 3] Okay. Can I look around and see if I see anything, like, any movement?

[Speaker 0] Nothing of them. You look back to where you thought you saw the person distracted you in your flight, and nothing. Mhmm. It’s sheer darkness. Mhmm.

[Speaker 0] Did we hear him fall? No. Not amongst the the doom time. Is

[Speaker 2] there any sort of path anywhere? Like

[Speaker 0] There are no paths in this jungle. It’s just There’s no trace of civilization that you discern. Let’s

[Speaker 2] go for a help.

[Speaker 3] That’d be so embarrassing.

[Speaker 1] Sorry. Was gonna deal with at nighttime.

[Speaker 3] I know where I am, like, in respect to everybody? Like, can give I them directions to me?

[Speaker 0] If you started hollering full full bore,

[Speaker 3] you could Oh,

[Speaker 4] I don’t

[Speaker 3] have to use my feather ascending?

[Speaker 0] I can just holler. Oh, you could do feather ascending. Yeah.

[Speaker 2] Let’s say that.

[Speaker 3] Say, I’m gonna holler.

[Speaker 2] Is it a 1 time use, or you can use it whenever? It’s 1 time use.

[Speaker 4] Once a day?

[Speaker 0] Once a day.

[Speaker 2] Oh, I should say that. Okay.

[Speaker 0] A day each way. Mhmm.

[Speaker 2] So we just have to yell into my camera’s mouth.

[Speaker 0] Lilith. Lilith. Lilith goes a wilderness bench. Yeah. Stay on the lookout.

[Speaker 4] I want to roll history to argue that with her. I don’t think that’s a gentle banshee.

[Speaker 0] Well, you know you know his calls.

[Speaker 1] Oh, we recognize him? Yeah.

[Speaker 0] That that was Yeah. You recognize.

[Speaker 2] That was fun.

[Speaker 1] I thought

[Speaker 4] we all just listened to her because

[Speaker 2] she was

[Speaker 1] Yeah. I just I kinda figured she’s a jungle. Yeah.

[Speaker 4] She’s beautiful, and she’s

[Speaker 2] Bantle’s in trouble. Let’s go help. Are you sure? I mean, was You heard the that’s that’s the

[Speaker 0] You’re right. When I hear it again, 2 pitches shy of banshee. Could that be your friend or someone?

[Speaker 1] Well, shit. Mean Bonzo. Yeah. That’s Bonzo for sure. Bonzo.

[Speaker 0] Very well. We must go. And the temple of Kaia Khan waits. It’s following me.

[Speaker 2] What? She knew the way.

[Speaker 1] You don’t know where fucking shit

[Speaker 4] is. It’s in this hex.

[Speaker 1] Alright. Let’s go.

[Speaker 2] Faf cuts down a tree.

[Speaker 0] For the hell

[Speaker 1] of it. Alright. Faf Faf, you lead the way. You’ll you’ll hack your way through.

[Speaker 2] I’m just slash chop walking, moghammer, waddle toting

[Speaker 1] right behind. I’ll take the I’ll take the rear end with the flag.

[Speaker 0] Still and droopy in the rimless forest, but proud nonetheless.

[Speaker 1] I’m in the I’m in the tail holding up the rear.

[Speaker 0] Y’all quickly within 5 minutes stumble upon a calling, hollering, crooning Bonzo, who is back into human form, and his spectacles have sort of cast a ride on its head.

[Speaker 1] What what happened, dude? I thought you were Shit’s thick, bro.

[Speaker 4] Shit. I

[Speaker 3] don’t know where this temple is.

[Speaker 1] You didn’t see anything? Nothing good? Nothing. Very well.

[Speaker 3] Kind of ruined my trip a little bit. Like, I had it’s a little scary being alone

[Speaker 0] in the jungle. That’s where the sun has started to just peek over the horizon, but you guys don’t know that because it’s still full black

[Speaker 3] in the understory.

[Speaker 0] But at that time, meaning it’s, like, 7AM in reality. At that time, Lilith says, I know this. This is this is what Shago described when Mosquito was taken by the undead owlbear right in this area. Owlbear? Yes.

[Speaker 0] Mhmm. Owlbear? Yes. There was an undead owlbear that waylaid Shago, the mosquito.

[Speaker 1] In the thick ass forest?

[Speaker 2] Yes. Faf, just, like, 2 hand caresses his own beard and then crouches to the ground and uses stone cunning or tremor sense to see if there’s anything nearby.

[Speaker 0] The soil underneath provides no Tremorsense.

[Speaker 2] Fuck. There’s nothing around, boys.

[Speaker 0] It’s like

[Speaker 2] a Alright.

[Speaker 4] Can I do a history check this time on the? Yeah.

[Speaker 0] Yeah. You don’t actually really need to. I mean, I can

[Speaker 1] tell you about it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

[Speaker 0] You have Voloth’s guide to monsters. Yeah.

[Speaker 1] It’s not that it’s really true.

[Speaker 0] If you want the deets on an undead owlbear. Mhmm. Yeah. History. The way this works is that I’m I can’t really tell you its armor class or hit points or speed, but I can tell you some generic things.

[Speaker 0] Yeah. 1 is that the the whole sparty could is equally matched to an under allele. Has no serious protection from any type of spell or attack, fire burning, ice, electricity, whatever. It has no serious protection in any of those. Any weaknesses?

[Speaker 0] Its weaknesses are direct blows, bludgeoning, piercing, and slashing. It doesn’t sleep. It doesn’t drink food. It’s undead.

[Speaker 2] Can we call it perhaps by saying,

[Speaker 0] oh. 0. There’s little reported about tracking and and calling in the in the.

[Speaker 2] I think we should start calling in this.

[Speaker 0] Nothing nothing comes in response until says, we should we should move quickly and and search. For the owlbear? For the temple. Right. Right.

[Speaker 1] Let’s move deeper.

[Speaker 3] Mhmm.

[Speaker 1] Deeper into the into the forest.

[Speaker 2] Keep chopping chopping a path, though.

[Speaker 0] Mhmm. Yeah. So you can We’re You have a Goldilocks.

[Speaker 2] Yeah. We got a path path. Yeah.

[Speaker 1] And we

[Speaker 3] do have a path gravel path.

[Speaker 2] Yeah. Yeah. Alright. Same direction. Chop chop.

[Speaker 0] You moved deeper westerly

[Speaker 2] Yeah. Into the jungle. We’re going this way. Right?

[Speaker 0] Right. But you’re not moving the thing. You’re in this hex that resides. Yeah. It’s a 10 mile hex.

[Speaker 0] Yep. Each of these things are 10

[Speaker 2] miles. Yeah.

[Speaker 0] You move for an hour, and you each on your own but say nothing notice activity in the canopy above and below, a monkey swinging, a sound, a ruffle, a foliage, but none are calling to you. Mhmm. And as you’re moving, locked in concentration, single file, Faf, then Moghammer, then the next, desperate to find something of note, You fail to realize that you have walked directly into a great fog. And soon enough, Lilith says, the myths have gone. We are close, but I can’t but everybody announced themselves.

[Speaker 0] Hello? Are you there?

[Speaker 2] Faf Faw

[Speaker 0] is so deep that even with your night vision Mhmm. 1 yard seems an eternity.

[Speaker 1] Can I can I real perception on whether or not this is a magical kind of thing or if it’s just like a normal ass fog?

[Speaker 0] 19. 19. You can talk clearly that this fog was cast millennia ago to hide something.

[Speaker 1] Can I I have detect magic? Would I be able to detect, like, the source of it or something if I did that magical effects within 30 feet? If you sense such effects, you can take the magical action to see if they are around any visible creature or object in the area that bears the magic.

[Speaker 0] Yes. Absolutely.

[Speaker 1] K. I’m gonna I’m gonna hit I’m gonna crank that. I cranked it.

[Speaker 2] Faf would like to reach his hand back, put it on Moghammer’s cute little head

[Speaker 1] Just to make sure we’re stuck together

[Speaker 0] Yeah. In this spot. Which is smart. Yeah. Because, again, there you cannot see about a yard in front of you.

[Speaker 2] It should be on the sand.

[Speaker 0] Feet. Fuck.

[Speaker 2] I think we should.

[Speaker 1] The detect magic doing that?

[Speaker 0] Yes. The detect magic to your eyes on the you see a through a, like, a gelatin gelatinous mass of gray that you could almost just eat. It’s so thick and opaque. You do see a slight lettering in blue. You can’t even tell it’s lettering.

[Speaker 0] Some blue wisps about 50 yards away.

[Speaker 1] Boys, I see some some magical looking shit. I’m gonna go run up to it. So I’m gonna I’m gonna kinda I’m hurrying up like Faf. I’m of my way, bro. I got shit to do over here.

[Speaker 2] Faf’s a little freaked out.

[Speaker 0] It’s off to your right. Okay.

[Speaker 2] Faf’s a little creep out.

[Speaker 1] I’m like, guys, follow me.

[Speaker 2] I’m like, righty o, boy. But I think we should all board the toad. I’m getting on. You guys should get on too.

[Speaker 1] How many how many people can the toad hold? 2. 3,

[Speaker 4] but with

[Speaker 2] 2 dwarfs?

[Speaker 1] Super hammer movement. Tight.

[Speaker 0] 2 dwarves and a Lilith. Yeah.

[Speaker 2] 2 dwarves and

[Speaker 4] a Lilith.

[Speaker 0] Yeah. Yeah. You can

[Speaker 4] move slowly

[Speaker 0] Okay. With that weight.

[Speaker 2] You don’t need to move fast.

[Speaker 0] Unheavily. Mhmm.

[Speaker 4] Don’t worry, Lilith. I’ll go behind you to make sure that you’re steady with Faf and I.

[Speaker 1] Alright. I’m I’m nearing

[Speaker 0] the the magical As you sort of stumble that way, The the fog, all of a sudden, you’re you’re moving you’re moving towards it, and then all of sudden, you sort of pop out of the fog. And and you can see clearly again, the sun has risen a little bit, just ever so slight light through the canopy shooting God rays down. And before you is 2 giant trees that bark forward, and there’s a wooden I mean, sorry, a stone doorway, double door with a crack between it, standing right in front of you. And to the right of the trees framing it are 2 dragonfly like a busts. But the dragonfly’s faces sort of have, like, gargoyle tongues

[Speaker 2] coming out. Bust size dragonflies?

[Speaker 0] They’re busty.

[Speaker 1] Yeah. What was what was glowing?

[Speaker 2] Bust size or bust

[Speaker 0] Like, concrete busts. Like Busted. They’re busty. Okay. Okay.

[Speaker 0] Like, they’re made of stone.

[Speaker 1] What was the glowing that attracted me over there?

[Speaker 0] The glowing has gone now. You do not see the glow.

[Speaker 1] That’s odd.

[Speaker 0] That is it’s it’s sort of an open floor with plant and village going around maybe about a 30 yard sort of antechamber funneling in to this doorway.

[Speaker 4] Temple door.

[Speaker 3] Try it.

[Speaker 1] I’m gonna walk up to the temple door, see if there are any, like, inscriptions. Or

[Speaker 0] You do see inscriptions.

[Speaker 2] Mhmm. What if we use a candle on the door?

[Speaker 1] Yeah. To detect the I try to I wanna read the inscriptions and stuff.

[Speaker 2] What language do speak? Just check if it opens.

[Speaker 1] I speak common, Elvish, and halfling. Mhmm.

[Speaker 3] What’s the Elvish word for

[Speaker 4] friend? I haven’t comprehend languages.

[Speaker 0] And what does that do? Are y’all through? I mean, where are y’all?

[Speaker 4] What? I’ve been closely trailing on.

[Speaker 0] Were you on Moghammer? Fuck. How

[Speaker 1] where is Moghammer in relation to me?

[Speaker 0] He is only about 30 feet behind you and yet deep in the fog. And so for all they know, you’re miles ahead, and you just hear, hello. Lilith being like, Shago. Mosquito.

[Speaker 1] That’s them. Calling desperately

[Speaker 0] amongst yeah. Calling desperately amongst the

[Speaker 1] Can they not see me?

[Speaker 0] No. You’re out in the fog.

[Speaker 1] You I’m like, yo. In the

[Speaker 0] fog like a like a portal.

[Speaker 2] Dude, just just fucking get hit us with a Hootie hoo. And we’ll hop. Alright. Moghammer super hops straight to him.

[Speaker 0] And, like, he lands, like, a foot shy of the fog walled area.

[Speaker 4] And then and then I say, hooty hoo.

[Speaker 2] The hooty hoo.

[Speaker 0] And Moghammer takes 1 paw forward or 1 and then y’all 2 emerge out from the deep dark gray and into what is sort of a beautiful oasis of open space with the fog funneling in on the the temple entrance as y’all just heard this from.

[Speaker 2] Sick. Is is Bonzo with us?

[Speaker 0] Everyone is with you. Okay. Cool. Cool.

[Speaker 4] Is it are there symbols on this construction, or is it just words in another language?

[Speaker 0] It’s just lettering in sort of a sharp cursive. I’m

[Speaker 4] gonna cast comprehend languages

[Speaker 0] Okay.

[Speaker 4] Which for 1 hour allows me to understand the literal meaning of any language that I hear or see signed. I also understand any written language that I see, but I must be touching the surface on which the words are written. Takes about 1 minute to read 1 paved text, and the

[Speaker 0] spell does not decode symbols or secret messages. Hence, my question. Now you well, you can it doesn’t decode the message, but you can read. As you touch the door, the inscription begins to light up in sort

[Speaker 1] of a

[Speaker 0] blue magenta, you know, call that a paradox, emanating forth, and it grumbles a little, the doors. Mhmm. But in sort of lustful way. And as you begin to touch it, the Dragonfly Statuary next to it, their tongues begin to wiggle. And you translate that the inscription on it says, speak spider to enter.

[Speaker 0] Well, can I now cast

[Speaker 2] Give me a sec?

[Speaker 3] What’s you got in your bag?

[Speaker 4] Oh. I can speak with animals, not speak as animal.

[Speaker 3] But you could speak with a spider. If we find a spider nearby, we might be able to see.

[Speaker 1] What is it what does it say?

[Speaker 4] Speak with animals?

[Speaker 0] What does it say?

[Speaker 1] No. What is the what’s the inscription thing here at the What just said speak with spiders? Spiders. Spider to Speak with spiders?

[Speaker 4] Spider. To enter. Oh, yeah. A spider. A spider.

[Speaker 4] Spider. Spider.

[Speaker 0] Nothing else.

[Speaker 3] Spider. Spider. Spider.

[Speaker 1] What’s the word what’s the word spider that you just read? Is it a different lang is it a spider language? Well, you know what language is. Right? Yeah.

[Speaker 1] What language was it? Language it was written in?

[Speaker 0] Yes. It was it was written in Aldani.

[Speaker 2] You gotta speak lobster for spice.

[Speaker 1] Fuck. What is? Is that lobsters? Mhmm. Do you know does he know how to he can read it, but he can’t speak it?

[Speaker 0] He could speak it. Well, no. Yeah. I guess he can’t speak it. No.

[Speaker 3] If we find a lobster.

[Speaker 1] So speak spider to enter?

[Speaker 2] Speak spider, not donkey. Let’s just break the door down.

[Speaker 4] I opened the book that I have, and I look for

[Speaker 1] spider

[Speaker 4] monsters and potential names that they go by in Aldani culture.

[Speaker 0] Okay. You discover that spiders are called in Aldani, the. The? The? The.

[Speaker 0] Nothing

[Speaker 4] Nothing happened? Happens.

[Speaker 1] I’m gonna start looking around a little bit. I pull my pipe of smoke monsters out. I’m just puffing away, and I’m kinda kinda walking around, looking around. Do I need a oh, yeah.

[Speaker 3] Yeah. Do I need a

[Speaker 1] roll for looking around? Yeah. Roll for

[Speaker 2] it. Wait. Invest I have an idea. Investigate. Can you pipe smoke smoke monster that is a spider that he talks to?

[Speaker 1] I could try that. I could I could definitely try that. I rolled an 18. I don’t what’s the investigation? Is there a bonus?

[Speaker 1] Is that a thing? Oh, yeah. Plus 2. So I rolled a 20.

[Speaker 2] You’d have you’d have to pipe smoke an Aldani. Yeah. Like a lobster man.

[Speaker 0] Yep. The Lobster man. Yes.

[Speaker 2] Now talk to the lobster man.

[Speaker 4] I think it did that.

[Speaker 0] The smoke spider billows out of you, and it begins with spindly smoky legs to crawl up and down the crevice of the 2 doors. And then it begins to go shaking violently. Woah. Shaking violently as if you are right, but there are there’s an issue Mhmm. With the insurance.

[Speaker 0] We need

[Speaker 1] some we need some real spiders maybe.

[Speaker 0] More lobster.

[Speaker 4] Wait. I feel like At this point,

[Speaker 0] Lilith interjects. Since I think I know what it is. This is a cursed temple marked as such by the Aldani to protect all those that enter, to protect them from vainglory for whatever it holds. The Aldani are set to be the spirit companion of the Chwunga, and they blighted this door. So those who are blessed by the Chwunga shall never enter to protect them.

[Speaker 0] Isilrod, I do not think you can enter. Oh, shit.

[Speaker 2] Over here.

[Speaker 1] Do you wanna lay open? Can we enter?

[Speaker 0] I would not ever leave anyone alone in this forest, and I would like I would like to wait for you because I fear what resides inside. Shago and Mosquito only ever told me that the gold idol is that it’s him. But I fear they both lost their lives in that pursuit. I will stay with you.

[Speaker 1] Don’t We still don’t really know how to get in, though, do we?

[Speaker 0] I think the I think that the spider

[Speaker 2] But spider smokes works. Works.

[Speaker 4] We just gotta

[Speaker 2] have him back

[Speaker 1] up. Yes.

[Speaker 3] So we gotta open the door.

[Speaker 2] Should we leave him Moghammer?

[Speaker 0] I I will stay with him as well. If as long as you you 3 feel comfortable.

[Speaker 2] Then we’ll bring Moghammer with.

[Speaker 3] Bring Moghammer. I think can you leave

[Speaker 4] as kind of, like, a cozy futon type thing? I would like tonight to relax

[Speaker 0] on.

[Speaker 4] Yeah. I mean gonna be sitting here and, like, protection from the

[Speaker 2] And all there. I mean, I think you should roll for your chances with both. And if they’re high, then yes.

[Speaker 3] Perception. Yeah. Like, how how close do

[Speaker 1] you think

[Speaker 2] you are? Yeah. You know, the deal. Like like, romantic fog, insects?

[Speaker 4] I’m not trying to seal the deal. I just I think Lilith is really struggling with the loss of Mosquito and And I just think she needs a cozy spot to rest.

[Speaker 2] Alright. You can hang on, Bob.

[Speaker 3] It’s he has feather ascending too.

[Speaker 2] Go on, I’ve I’ve had him on his flappy to toad bone. He’s got a little, like,

[Speaker 0] kind of a

[Speaker 2] saggy butt. I I double I

[Speaker 4] give him little double pat. He curls up and and Yeah. Just lay. Can’t put the

[Speaker 2] toad at risk.

[Speaker 0] You you, Moghammer, Lilith sort of step back away from the door. Yeah.

[Speaker 2] Faf starts hitting his own helm with Zach’s ready to go in.

[Speaker 0] As soon as y’all step back, the smoke spider sort of reanimates and begins dancing up and down, and the cursive lighting reveals brighter and brighter and brighter. And then the double wide door creaks open. As it creaks open, the dragonfly bus start flapping their wings Mhmm.

[Speaker 1] Rhythmically. And

[Speaker 0] you can see into a a tunnel. Just a tunnel? There are vines and things growing on the side. It’s sort of too aggressive.

[Speaker 2] Okay. I think that this tunnel’s got traps. I agree. No doubt. And is it stone floor?

[Speaker 0] It is rock floor, but interspliced with Faf begins to the various soil.

[Speaker 2] To to to just kinda, like, grab his own beard a little bit and crouch and then use a stone cutting.

[Speaker 0] You stone cutting through and detect no life down this tunnel, at least.

[Speaker 2] Alright. We should throw some rocks down

[Speaker 1] this tunnel.

[Speaker 3] Kinda makes sense to skip some rocks. Yeah.

[Speaker 1] I’m gonna some nice flat stones in here. I’m gonna go ahead and and conjure The

[Speaker 0] the the rocks are skipping, skipping, skipping, and they’re disappearing into the distance with a slight flint spark.

[Speaker 1] I’m gonna conjure my my packed blade in preparation for battle. It’s a it’s a glowing Sting. Tooth of Nice. Of Steel. Glowing shit.

[Speaker 1] It’s just like it’s kinda like a lightsaber.

[Speaker 0] Oh, yeah.

[Speaker 1] Double double lightsaber style.

[Speaker 2] Like, Darth Maul?

[Speaker 1] It’s a Darth Maul lightsaber. Yeah. Shit. And I just hold it out. It’s pretty bad.

[Speaker 1] Whole time. Goes up. It’s just a I can conjure a pact of the blade conjure. I can conjure a pact weapon in my hand.

[Speaker 3] Oh, shit. Okay.

[Speaker 2] I don’t

[Speaker 1] really know what that means, but yeah. Researches. Yeah. So Alright.

[Speaker 2] We’re now in we’re in the tunnel a little bit. Right? We walked forward a few steps? Yeah. Alright.

[Speaker 2] Pivot back. What’s the conversation with Lilith? What’s happened?

[Speaker 0] Okay. Yeah. Well but now y’all are indifferent. Sorry. As soon as y’all entered into the tunnel, the doors creaked

[Speaker 2] closed by. Fuck. Dude.

[Speaker 0] So y’all are y’all are gone. Y’all can discuss, but I need you. Christ. Alright.

[Speaker 2] But did I make a mistake leaving my toad

[Speaker 0] with them?

[Speaker 3] No. Dude, that’s good. Wait. We need he needs some backup. Okay.

[Speaker 3] He’s in good hands.

[Speaker 2] Dude, I’m getting blasted by the AC right here. I don’t know.

[Speaker 0] That’s the AC. Good.

[Speaker 3] Resin. I’m getting a major mind some more.

[Speaker 2] But I am too a little bit.

[Speaker 3] Feel like we’re walking into a tomb outside the ball rolling.

[Speaker 2] Yeah. I think that’s true. I’m all maxed up on, like I’ve got a heroic inspiration. Mhmm. I got 2nd I got double 2nd wins.

[Speaker 2] I did just use a stone It’s coming, so it didn’t help much. But I got an action surge.

[Speaker 3] To get to use that.

[Speaker 2] I got 3 unwavering marks. I still own a shotgun, which is a whole part of my character’s thing.

[Speaker 0] So I’m gonna need to get 1 of those.

[Speaker 2] I think we need to have a because, you know, we we have an

[Speaker 4] opportunity here. We need

[Speaker 2] a synchronous fighting power move. It’s basically like us Mighty Morphin Power Rangers together. You know?

[Speaker 4] Yeah. We all do

[Speaker 2] a thing.

[Speaker 0] Yeah.

[Speaker 2] What do

[Speaker 1] we got?

[Speaker 2] Mean, come on. You’re you’re a wizard. Like, you’re a warlock.

[Speaker 0] Like, what’s up? We need a we need a special super combo.

[Speaker 3] What’s our combat

[Speaker 1] then? Yeah. So I’ve got a double bladed scimitar. That’s my bonded pack pack weapon. Uh-huh.

[Speaker 1] I can use my charisma to attack with it, which is pretty epic. Okay. I feel like that could be cool melee situation. I’ve also got Elder Blast.

[Speaker 3] Elder Blast.

[Speaker 1] I can also curse

[Speaker 2] I just think we need a couple words for, like, earth or combined superpower.

[Speaker 1] Feel like I need to be jumping off your

[Speaker 2] I don’t

[Speaker 3] mean you wanna say

[Speaker 1] your situation. Jump off his back, and then

[Speaker 0] you jump off my back jumping off his back. Uh-huh.

[Speaker 1] And it’s like a triple it’s like a triple launch. Yeah. What if I get on your shoulders? Okay.

[Speaker 2] Yeah. I’m just kinda wally.

[Speaker 4] You know,

[Speaker 2] someone can actually doing.

[Speaker 1] Launch of the triads kiss

[Speaker 3] or something. The triads kiss.

[Speaker 2] The no toad triads kiss.

[Speaker 4] Okay. The

[Speaker 0] no toad you gotta play.

[Speaker 1] I like toad I like toad triads kiss.

[Speaker 0] I like to play. Alright. The tunnel looms up for y’all. There are cobwebs everywhere, and you can see about 40 feet. It just seems to go straight, a little bend to the right, a little bend to the left, but more or less a straight

[Speaker 2] Thothius, can you flame some of these cobwebs out of our way? Without expanding anything?

[Speaker 1] Yeah. Let me see about that. Let’s see.

[Speaker 2] I don’t like spiders that much.

[Speaker 1] Elder blast at will. Yeah. I can fucking blast that. I’m gonna I’m just gonna pump an elder blast straight in front of us.

[Speaker 3] Okay. Yeah.

[Speaker 0] That’s a cantrip?

[Speaker 1] I do I I hit the pinky. I’m like, the I hit a little pinky death. Yeah. Yeah.

[Speaker 2] Pinky nano that.

[Speaker 0] It’s a pinky nano with the dark. And it does clear all of the spider webs. The same gray and orange flame. And then there’s still no It

[Speaker 1] carries through how far ahead can we see?

[Speaker 0] With the with the As it carries through, it’s because the sort of entrance tunnel undulates a little bit, it ends up clipping.

[Speaker 2] We got tunnel map somewhere? Nope.

[Speaker 0] Nope. No map.

[Speaker 2] K. Alright.

[Speaker 0] I like this.

[Speaker 1] Just keep charging towards me.

[Speaker 3] That’s good. All we can do is go forward. Let’s do it.

[Speaker 2] Should we do it in terms of heights so can all see boards, all go in front?

[Speaker 1] Yes. Yeah.

[Speaker 3] Yeah. What’s the tallest? The tallest on. You know? What’s the middle?

[Speaker 2] Faf Dons of Eddious. Yep. Like like the fucking, you know, cellar bars.

[Speaker 0] I like it. I like it.

[Speaker 1] And just so you know, when we call the the toadless what was it? What was it?

[Speaker 2] Triad. The toadless The no toad triads kiss.

[Speaker 1] Maybe the toadless triads

[Speaker 2] is what’s

[Speaker 0] gonna happen. Okay? So don’t tell me. Don’t tell me. Don’t tell Don’t tell me.

[Speaker 1] We’re in the perfect order for it. We’re ready.

[Speaker 0] I’m gonna surprised. Yeah. Perfect.

[Speaker 2] We have we all have, like, a cool guy to saunter.

[Speaker 1] Yeah. Little cripple walk scenario.

[Speaker 2] Faf is actually Cripple walking. Cash very cash dragging.

[Speaker 3] I’m not

[Speaker 2] holding it. It’s just on the ground

[Speaker 0] as a Debt collector.

[Speaker 2] Yeah. Debt collector is just chitching and down the fucking hall.

[Speaker 0] And it’s it’s rattling and echoing Yeah. As if y’all are Yeah. This is not a free It’s not silent at this place holds. Yeah. And so y’all are just trudging forward.

[Speaker 0] Carelessly. Confidently. Goal or perception?

[Speaker 1] 718. Oh, wait.

[Speaker 2] No. No. 18. 18.

[Speaker 0] All I care about is

[Speaker 4] the 1st roll.

[Speaker 0] Which 1 was the 1st 1st in line. So let’s just Yeah.

[Speaker 2] You’re the 1st?

[Speaker 0] That was, like, a 6.

[Speaker 2] Oh, yeah. 6. Yeah. A 6. Do you have 2 d 20 by chance?

[Speaker 0] Yeah. Bonzo I mean, sorry. Faf.

[Speaker 1] Oh, what?

[Speaker 3] I missed 1. So maybe I can Yeah. Borrow 1?

[Speaker 4] Because we

[Speaker 0] So y’all have the same set?

[Speaker 1] I’ve just got a red and a and

[Speaker 3] a This 1 is mine, actually.

[Speaker 1] It is. I’ve got

[Speaker 0] Y’all need to just buy so many.

[Speaker 2] What? You only need 1 set.

[Speaker 0] Right? No. God. No. You need so many more.

[Speaker 0] What? They start throwing 4 at time. It’s crazy. Anyways, Faf Faf Faf was charging fearlessly, confidently. Debt collector, sparking flame under stone in his wake, and then he stepped directly onto a pressure plate.

[Speaker 0] And that pressure plate opened up a 20 foot wide cavern going straight down into a, like, a well that’s about 2 feet in front of Faf. You didn’t walk into it. And there’s rows and rows of wooden spikes sticking out of the well.

[Speaker 2] So that’s Stop. That stops everyone sturdily.

[Speaker 1] How you said it’s 20 feet? Yeah. Can you we can’t

[Speaker 0] jump over that. Can’t I don’t know what y’all’s jumping distance is. With

[Speaker 2] without my toad. How do you calculate?

[Speaker 4] Yeah. Goddamn it. We should have that toad. Let’s see. Fuck.

[Speaker 2] I speak Goblin. That was the I’m confident

[Speaker 0] that I do not know how, but I’m confident that y’all can figure out a way across.

[Speaker 3] I got I got pretty good acrobatics bonus and a rope.

[Speaker 1] You have a rope? Yeah. I do have a rope.

[Speaker 2] So why don’t you just fucking turbo wall run jump across this thing and then rope us across?

[Speaker 3] That’s what I’m thinking.

[Speaker 2] Fucking 20 feet’s not that big. It’s only an Olympic jump.

[Speaker 0] While y’all consider this, we’re gonna flip back to Moghammer and Lilith and Isilrod. The sun is shining a little bright more brightly upon y’all outside.

[Speaker 4] Lilith, who would have thought we’d find such comfort on the dog?

[Speaker 0] Yes. You’re quite the comedian. I do wish that our companions had sat their back. Do you not feel a sense that we’ve let them down?

[Speaker 4] I feel we had no choice. The lobster people and other guy said I shouldn’t go.

[Speaker 0] There is there is strength in stepping back, but, god, I hate being on the sidelines.

[Speaker 4] Yeah. It’s really tough not being with my boys. But, you know, like I said, this tote’s pretty comfy.

[Speaker 0] Playing a song.

[Speaker 4] Lilith. This time on bagpipes. I actually play Genesis, The Lame Londo, lies down on Broadway in its entirety

[Speaker 0] Oh, 9 months. And

[Speaker 4] it’s better than the actual album. Okay. 20? Yeah. 20?

[Speaker 4] 5. Not my best work.

[Speaker 0] So which of your companions do you like the most?

[Speaker 4] It’s really tough. They all bring something different to the table. Darius is just an artistic genius, but he doesn’t see it himself. Bonzo is 1 of the most flexible people I’ve ever met in my life,

[Speaker 0] and he’s human. And Faf just has a

[Speaker 4] chaotic way of inspiring us all to take on life’s greatest challenges in a way that I truly admire while holding strong to his family’s legacy.

[Speaker 0] There’s a poetry. There’s a poetry in that. But tell me, which would you take into Watto’s Coliseum were you to face down the beast?

[Speaker 4] I’d have to say, Moghammer.

[Speaker 0] I was thinking the salmon, and she feeds Moghammer or something. Like, flip back.

[Speaker 2] I haven’t figured out how we’re gonna cross this

[Speaker 1] chasm. Should we should we try the the toadless triad’s caress? The the the the delicate cousin to the the kids.

[Speaker 3] The foreplay of the kids?

[Speaker 1] Yeah. I believe. You know that 1 where where we just we jump off bath and launch. Yeah. I’m thinking you can hold the rope.

[Speaker 1] You know, we’ll we’ll both launch, and then Faf holding the other side of the rope will heave him over.

[Speaker 3] Will he faff over?

[Speaker 1] Will he faff over. Just for fun. He’s a he’s He’s the most tossable. Big motherfucker. Yeah.

[Speaker 1] Yeah.

[Speaker 2] Actually think Faf is in his golden year. Well, 50 years old. And he’s 350 pounds.

[Speaker 3] Well, we can

[Speaker 2] He’s a fucking heavy boy.

[Speaker 3] You’ve got momentum. So we grab I feel like we grab his his long beard. We start swinging.

[Speaker 1] And we swing launch him.

[Speaker 3] Launch him.

[Speaker 2] I could use my my my dash, and we could have a rope tied to both of you guys that’s shorter than the dash distance. I dash straight to the edge and stop, but in that shorter rope distance, it just it just turbo snatches you guys across. Slingshots us. And it slingshots you guys. It doesn’t solve the

[Speaker 1] the I think the hardest part is getting you across.

[Speaker 4] A 100%. Percent.

[Speaker 1] It’s not necessarily us. It’s more

[Speaker 2] But once you guys are across rope. Once you guys are across, you could tie

[Speaker 0] the rope to something.

[Speaker 2] And then I could

[Speaker 0] Let’s think about think about y’all’s items. Think about y’all’s spells perhaps.

[Speaker 2] I like raven form I can fly across.

[Speaker 1] You can just do that whenever. I thought it was, like, once a day or

[Speaker 2] 3 times. 3 times a day.

[Speaker 1] Oh my fucking god. Are you kidding me? Well, you’re taking care of, obviously. Shark. Just fly

[Speaker 2] Faf tries lifting his foot off the pressure plate.

[Speaker 1] Does anything happen?

[Speaker 0] No. No. No.

[Speaker 3] We’re just pulling pressure to plate up. Alright. Let’s

[Speaker 2] go. You fly across.

[Speaker 1] I don’t have any. I can fly. Don’t have anything. I can billow. I can look cool and billow, but I don’t think it actually provides any uplift.

[Speaker 0] Yeah. I can billow.

[Speaker 1] I have a Biskarr bastardly brew. I can I can put somebody in a blind rage if we need that?

[Speaker 2] Can you there there are wooden spikes down there. Can you burn

[Speaker 0] those things?

[Speaker 1] Burn them?

[Speaker 2] Yeah. Just burn the spikes away. So if I fall in

[Speaker 1] Okay. That’s smart. Steward. I’m gonna I’m at all Eldritch blast. Is

[Speaker 0] that a cantrobe?

[Speaker 1] Yeah. It’s at will. I can do it as much as I want,

[Speaker 2] especially since we’re not in battle. Mhmm.

[Speaker 1] Alright. If I have unlimited actions, you know, I can

[Speaker 0] be they all calcify underneath the eldritch flame. They calcify? Yeah. They they they burn up, and they become weak and hurtful. Okay.

[Speaker 0] Cool.

[Speaker 2] Good. Okay.

[Speaker 0] They don’t disappear.

[Speaker 2] I mean, it doesn’t matter.

[Speaker 1] It’s just I really should start euging my little

[Speaker 4] glasses a little more. I

[Speaker 1] have a sickle.

[Speaker 2] Can can you can you can you suspend your rope as you fly across?

[Speaker 3] I can’t carry a is a rope too heavy to carry across?

[Speaker 0] Yeah. I think you can carry a rope in your beak.

[Speaker 3] Okay. Yeah.

[Speaker 2] Beak fly the rope across. Fly the rope. Turn to a human. Somebody See if you can tie that thing off on something.

[Speaker 1] Yeah. Rope that fucker off, and we’ll just hop over with in the hop in the hole, and we’ll rope over or whatever. Okay. No big deal.

[Speaker 2] I don’t know if you’re do that. Because he’s doing it. I’m gonna raving.

[Speaker 0] He’s carrying the whole robe over.

[Speaker 2] We’re holding 1 side and he’s carrying the other 1. That goes. And you’re casting some sort of some sort of featherweight thing. I’m billowing. He’s billowing.

[Speaker 1] He’s billowing in this room. Okay.

[Speaker 0] It’s aggressive. Who’s holding the I’m holding

[Speaker 2] the other side of

[Speaker 0] the rope. Alright. And in in the ring meet, there’s another side of the rope going across.

[Speaker 2] I’m holding the this side in my teeth in solidarity.

[Speaker 0] Yep. Very well.

[Speaker 3] And then so I get to the other side, I

[Speaker 2] reserve anything to tie it to. Turn into a human, I try not to

[Speaker 0] tie it to something. Yeah. There’s, like, outcroppings of rock and, like, torch old torch holders. They’re empty, but there’s there’s plenty to anchor it to. Yeah.

[Speaker 2] It’s tied to that. Outcropping of rock.

[Speaker 1] Alright. Faf, you go 1st.

[Speaker 2] Drama, bitch.

[Speaker 0] What what what is y’all’s anchor to?

[Speaker 1] Nothing. No. We’re not gonna be angry. We’re just gonna jump off and

[Speaker 2] Sorry. No. Wait. Wait. Wait.

[Speaker 2] But then we’re It’s angry to me. You you boots good across.

[Speaker 1] Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Faf’s just Yeah.

[Speaker 2] You’re just you’re just when

[Speaker 0] you do this.

[Speaker 2] Yeah. Faf’s 300 pounds. I like the other 2.

[Speaker 1] I like that.

[Speaker 2] Yeah. Sure.

[Speaker 0] Okay. But the the tunnel is not that like, it’s not that high or, you know, the temple that you’re

[Speaker 1] in is not

[Speaker 0] that high.

[Speaker 2] There could be a little droop, but Faf’s got this side of road.

[Speaker 0] Yeah. I just need it. That makes sense. But just for you to swing from a fulcrum on the other side isn’t gonna work.

[Speaker 2] No. I intend to swing into a flat wall, catch it with my dwarven boots Alright. And then climb slash get pulled up.

[Speaker 0] Alright. I fucking dig it. Go. Let’s go.

[Speaker 1] Okay. What do I do? I roll the e click? It’s a 4. What?

[Speaker 1] You’re you’re

[Speaker 0] good. What?

[Speaker 1] You’re just Oh, you could just do it? Well, I did that. Yeah. Yeah.

[Speaker 0] Yeah. Yeah. You did it.

[Speaker 2] Alright. Now the whole time is coming.

[Speaker 4] Now still looking. Okay. Across

[Speaker 0] if you were a bug at the bottom of these flame splintered spheres looking up, you would just see a man clinging sol solitary and silently from a rope moving across very slowly because of rope war as his cape billowed in the background. Alright. And then he lands on the other side.

[Speaker 2] Faf, as you guys know, is a little bit scared of heights, but he’s simultaneously scared of nothing. Only once everyone met up. Gentlemen, tie off on everything including yourselves.

[Speaker 3] Okay.

[Speaker 0] And then Okay. Yeah.

[Speaker 2] And then he unnecessarily runs backwards, hops up in the air, lifts his little stubby legs, and butt clips just the edge as he

[Speaker 0] swings across. Beautiful. Beautiful. And then if you were a bug looking up, you would see a mighty heir of kings and princes cast out and then brought home into the fold here to reclaim glory. Go smashing into the lower part of the wall.

[Speaker 2] Dinting it perhaps.

[Speaker 0] Rolls d 20.

[Speaker 1] They took they took some good rolls today.

[Speaker 0] The smash, what at 1st appears to be is sort of like a Play Doh squishing against the wall is actually a calculated maneuver of mass and force to give him a slight bounce back out to where he can quickly climb up the link that he missed, and his head with 2 hands is poking over

[Speaker 3] and looking at y’all. Nice.

[Speaker 1] Excellent. Excellent. Mhmm. I I gave a That

[Speaker 2] was in place. I I’ve got it. I’ve got it. It. Alright.

[Speaker 2] Yes, sir. And then he hoots a little bit, and then he asked for help. You know, it’s alright. I give

[Speaker 1] him a I him a hand. Yeah.

[Speaker 2] I give him a hand. A shot. We pull him up. Oh, man.

[Speaker 0] But as you

[Speaker 2] pull him That was how the other dwarf.

[Speaker 0] But as you pull him up, as as both of you pull him up, you’ll detect that he could have immediately done a somersault up and landed and stuck it. But for your benefit and an attempt at humility so rare to him, he requested your help for asking a favor makes him better.

[Speaker 2] For bonding. Yeah. Exactly. Bonding.

[Speaker 0] And he

[Speaker 2] feels They just they just perceive that without Faf saying

[Speaker 3] We all perceive spot. We all perceive that

[Speaker 0] we’re Nice. It was an 18.

[Speaker 1] I mean, that’s not good.

[Speaker 3] Our bond has grown stronger.

[Speaker 1] The triad.

[Speaker 0] Such a villain. Such a a villain.

[Speaker 4] Precisely. Yes.

[Speaker 0] Let’s flashback. Y’all emerge up, dust off, y’all across the great chasm, and you peer down a hallway that columns it doesn’t column up, but it emerges into a sort of larger chamber Mhmm. At which there is a throne in the farthest distance, maybe about 50 yards. Not too far. It’s all sort of cramped.

[Speaker 0] But there is a throne and a corpse of an aloe bear slumped over, very skeletal, very rotten, dead amongst the cobwebs and grime there. And before him, there’s a maybe, like, 5 feet before him, there’s sort of, like, a podium upon which a golden sort of statue sort of like this stands directly upon that podium. Now contemplate it. Man, we’re back outside. Alright.

[Speaker 0] Alright.

[Speaker 4] Let’s just the tongue. Trying strike kiss.

[Speaker 2] Yeah. Tailors. Tailors try its kiss. I think that

[Speaker 4] You think they’re okay? Starts

[Speaker 2] with a dead screen from

[Speaker 0] the doors.

[Speaker 4] Right? And do you ever miss your friends?

[Speaker 2] I slide. 2 different slides to eye and then shout intimidation. I miss misuse that. Intimidation? Stay here.

[Speaker 2] Okay. Intimidate. And after I intimidate, Bonzo flips

[Speaker 0] my hair off of my off of my head.

[Speaker 1] Shot is run off my head. Right?

[Speaker 2] And while you’re turboflipping in the air, your hands come around the side of my head

[Speaker 4] and hit him with a

[Speaker 2] fucking veltrage blast, and then he

[Speaker 0] comes down and just punches him or whatever.

[Speaker 1] There’s there’s You like that? It’s got the double

[Speaker 0] It’s been so long. Jump, though.

[Speaker 1] I’m pretty into the double

[Speaker 2] you jump off me. And when he’s in the air, you shoot him now.

[Speaker 4] A because he’s in here

[Speaker 2] in a comic. You jump off of him, rockets him

[Speaker 4] into the next into the guy. Yeah.

[Speaker 1] I kick you in the ass. Yeah. Like, the feeling. Depends

[Speaker 3] Human speed. And I’m I’m gonna do it.

[Speaker 2] I’m running forward with my axe.

[Speaker 1] I feel like

[Speaker 4] But I never actually have any sense.

[Speaker 2] It’s just you

[Speaker 4] it’s just you tied you

[Speaker 0] to watch you even further forward. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes.

[Speaker 4] And then if you guys take 1 shot kill

[Speaker 2] with this combo, I do run-in with the

[Speaker 0] uppercut extra with the uppercut. A plus. Is he not?

[Speaker 4] A stroke is

[Speaker 0] true. And

[Speaker 3] then it’s in 1 of 1

[Speaker 0] of his boldest eyes. He looks at he looks at me. I I believe that Moghammer is a good judge of character. Aren’t you, Moghammer? And she reaches out to him and rolls to see if Moghammer is.

[Speaker 0] Which Moghammer does need a

[Speaker 1] Is she falling in love with Moghammer?

[Speaker 4] No. No. You’re right. He is a good judge of character.

[Speaker 2] You talk about my character.

[Speaker 4] At times, I’ve had my doubts about you, Lilith. This darkness that you carry.

[Speaker 0] Have you ever done awful things in the name of a beautiful thing? Every day of my life. Then you would understand the trial that I am in. Let’s flip back. Every day of

[Speaker 4] my life.

[Speaker 0] Alright. I need a Zen heat. Milli?

[Speaker 2] Yeah. Just open that lower lip.

[Speaker 1] We’re not

[Speaker 0] even close to stopping, people.

[Speaker 2] Just open your upper lip. I’ll flick it in there. Did

[Speaker 4] did you pull out the whiskey earlier? Yeah. Can I have a a little bit?

[Speaker 2] Oh, dude. I’ve had 5 of these chiladas now.

[Speaker 0] Dude, no. You can’t motorcycle it.

[Speaker 2] I only had 4 of these chiladas.

[Speaker 0] You can’t have 2 whiskeys and 4 chiladas.

[Speaker 2] It was in there. It’s like 3%.

[Speaker 1] Yeah. Try

[Speaker 0] it. No. I hate gelato.

[Speaker 2] Is that why my gelatoes have stayed in stock? Shocked. Shocked every time. Total of. I was I was I was pleased.

[Speaker 2] Certainly.

[Speaker 0] No. No.

[Speaker 2] I was pleasantly surprised

[Speaker 0] see We got, like, 30 more minutes plus.

[Speaker 2] Okay. Boys, we got at least another 2 hours tonight. Like, we’re we’re in this.

[Speaker 3] Yeah. My wife’s out to me.

[Speaker 2] Dude, mine’s not, but she got a new job.

[Speaker 3] What does that mean?

[Speaker 2] Oh, shit.

[Speaker 0] She’s gonna She’s go back. He’s the only person who can slow us down at this point, but I’m in for 5 minutes.

[Speaker 2] Rita, you try

[Speaker 4] to quit, dude? Shut up.

[Speaker 3] Come on.

[Speaker 1] No. I’m I’m in. And don’t call me about my government.

[Speaker 2] Well, sorry. The Rhalzar

[Speaker 3] 12th? Alright.

[Speaker 0] From an ancient Charles Oranian.

[Speaker 2] Dude, we are It’s kinda like this as we approach the owlbear in the hallway. Like, we’re we’re we’re just kinda

[Speaker 0] like Remember the owl there is behind the gold statue. Behind it? Yes.

[Speaker 2] I’m actually gonna you pause in.

[Speaker 1] Gonna pause

[Speaker 0] long through.

[Speaker 2] And be like, that gold looks like the Narwhal gold.

[Speaker 1] I’m gonna how far away from from the outer?

[Speaker 0] Y’all are, like, 20 feet.

[Speaker 2] The gold looks like an hour walking. We do

[Speaker 1] I’m gonna I start to hiss a little bit. I’m like

[Speaker 0] Maybe we should check

[Speaker 2] to see if I can hiss.

[Speaker 3] Yes. Yes. Yes.

[Speaker 2] Do 1 of those those

[Speaker 1] classic, like, limp handed fucking lightning bolt things, like like, from that bad guy in Star Wars. Palpatine. That you you hit him. I hit him. The limp handed Palpatine.

[Speaker 1] I Elder blast the the Yeah. Yeah. You know, but that owlbear

[Speaker 4] just to

[Speaker 1] see just to see if he if he flinches a little bit, if he’s alive.

[Speaker 0] So y’all are sort of exiting into a round shaped chamber. The chasm is behind y’all. The gold statue is 10 feet, 20 feet in front of y’all, and then the throne, which you can see the dead owlbear, 10 feet behind that, and the lightning sparks above the gold statue and strikes the owl bear, and it is, like, striking a pile of laundry. There’s just nothing.

[Speaker 1] It’s just

[Speaker 0] kind of, like, jiggling and with amongst the electrons, but no reactivity. Mhmm.

[Speaker 1] Alright. It’s a good sign.

[Speaker 2] Think I think the owlbear is going to wake up as soon as we pick up this golden altar thing. I have an idea.

[Speaker 1] Yeah. Boys, how are we gonna get back across that big ass thing when inevitably we pull this thing up and there’s, like, a rolling

[Speaker 2] Yep. Massive ball. Tooth. Have we have

[Speaker 3] the method. Raiders of the Lost Ark.

[Speaker 1] Right. But we need to execute that very quickly.

[Speaker 2] We don’t have to run away.

[Speaker 4] Let’s kill

[Speaker 3] it. Do you have anything that looks

[Speaker 2] like it’s the same weight as that golden This owlbear’s going. Yeah. This owl oh god. That’s a good idea.

[Speaker 1] We definitely bug you. We we’re definitely gonna need to to do the the classic switcheroo. Jar. Okay. We’ve got a jar.

[Speaker 1] And I’ve got a bag

[Speaker 0] of marbles. Milk.

[Speaker 1] I’ve got a bag of marbles. Milk is precious. Egg

[Speaker 2] of marbles.

[Speaker 1] We could eyeball it. It it looks like a What if

[Speaker 2] we disassemble the owlbear 1st? It’s not a wig.

[Speaker 1] Oh, yeah. Let’s go investigate the owl.

[Speaker 3] Yeah. Let’s go poke the bear a little.

[Speaker 1] Don’t touch the golden thing. We all know something awful is gonna happen when we touch it. Agreed. Nobody touch it.

[Speaker 2] But we could chop the owlbear up into little pieces and put it in different parts of the room.

[Speaker 3] Ah. Oh.

[Speaker 1] I don’t know I

[Speaker 3] Okay. Okay. Cool. Can we check to see if if mosquito you know, any trace of mosquito and it’s and

[Speaker 0] Yeah. Within the chamber, you don’t see. It’s basically just, like, all cobwebs and stone and some vines kind of, like, breaking through the the mortar. And you don’t really see anything besides this the pedestal with the statue and the the the undead owlbear on the throne.

[Speaker 3] Okay. Okay.

[Speaker 1] K. Let’s get to chopping, I guess. I I I take out my my double bladed Cimitar, and I I do a couple slices. I’m trying to trying to chunk out the the Cimitar. I’m eyeballing it.

[Speaker 1] I’m trying to make make some golden statues, you know, weighted sized chunks of the owl owlbear.

[Speaker 2] The owlbear. Faf goes up on 1 leg and starts spinning his axe behind his back. He’s just kinda like doing a 1 leg squat with a spin. And then spin spin spin, brings it around and tries

[Speaker 4] to tape the over his head off.

[Speaker 0] The the alligator’s head goes clean off. Nice. Drops off. And as Bodius is chopping the remaining parts of the alabir off. He gone is a an arm.

[Speaker 0] Gone is a leg not quite right fitting. And as he goes into the torso and begins chopping, the stomach falls out, and he accidentally slices a slit into its contents. Oh. And a silver ring comes out of its stomach as well as a piece of slimy parchment. Okay?

[Speaker 0] Oh, okay.

[Speaker 3] Alright. Let’s slow down

[Speaker 1] the chopping. Okay?

[Speaker 3] This I is

[Speaker 1] I pick up the ring, and I inspect it.

[Speaker 0] It appears to be

[Speaker 2] the typical

[Speaker 0] silver ring except on its underside. You see a f slash dented.

[Speaker 1] It’s not an f for mosquito.

[Speaker 2] Means it’s fine.

[Speaker 0] What’s the

[Speaker 1] other guy’s name that was

[Speaker 3] Shago? Mhmm. Shago? Okay. Shago?

[Speaker 1] So there’s an f. Okay. I’ll pocket that for now.

[Speaker 4] I’m not gonna put it on.

[Speaker 1] And then the parchment, I pick up, and I un unroll it. It’s it’s very slimy.

[Speaker 0] It’s It’s slimy. Disgusting. Placenta covered.

[Speaker 1] I try to kind of flatten it out perhaps.

[Speaker 0] Yeah. Among its half digested contents, afraid of the end doesn’t work. You can read an ink. It’s a, my boy, have you set sight on Baldur’s Gate yet? How’s Captain Ortimay treating you?

[Speaker 0] If you find the sea life calling to you, do not find it. For indeed, the jungle called to me when I was your age, and we are all each called to that of which speaks to our own true heart, yours as much as mine or the next. Be a good lad, my boy. See you soon.

[Speaker 2] It’s a

[Speaker 0] letter to Flea. Oh, but wait.

[Speaker 1] Is it signed?

[Speaker 3] F is for Flea.

[Speaker 1] Is it signed? Mhmm. There’s no signature.

[Speaker 2] So this this fucking man bear pig ate mosquito.

[Speaker 1] Wouldn’t flea be flea flea is alive on our boat.

[Speaker 2] Right. But mosquitoes is dating.

[Speaker 1] Yeah. Who’s dead? Alright. I pocket that.

[Speaker 0] Maybe we should,

[Speaker 3] like like, safely slice open his belly to make sure

[Speaker 0] there’s no

[Speaker 1] Yeah. Start to kinda carve it carve it out, but more surgical. You know? Surgically carving.

[Speaker 0] I always discover turduck and other tokens of humanity. But you do stumble upon a very well carved kidney that bears a slight resemblance to the gold statue.

[Speaker 1] Kidney? Oh, nice. I’ve got a I’ve got a kidney, and it looks like the the size of the statue that I think we can use. What? For the switching.

[Speaker 2] Oh, yeah. Switcher. How have you You guys work on the switcheroo. I’m taking the the owl pig’s head that I chopped off. I’m throwing

[Speaker 4] it in the pit.

[Speaker 1] I’m gonna cast Yeah. I’m gonna cast minor illusion

[Speaker 0] Turn up the yeah. On the kidney. Trumbles around and throws bear head owl bear head

[Speaker 4] in the pit. I mean,

[Speaker 1] they cast a minor illusion on the kidney, creating an object that looks just like this statue. So if there’s any any any anybody that ends up looking around, then they’ll be like, oh, the settee’s right there.

[Speaker 4] Like, nobody’s taking it, obviously.

[Speaker 2] Definitely not a kidney.

[Speaker 0] The minor illusion lasts, like, 4 hours.

[Speaker 2] 1 minute. 1 minute. You

[Speaker 0] fooled them.

[Speaker 1] I don’t know. I guess I shouldn’t have cast it so early. Maybe so I’m gonna cast it as soon as I switch it.

[Speaker 2] Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Switch it.

[Speaker 1] So we we have 1 minute of if anybody’s here Gotcha. Still on the it’s still on the thing, obviously. So what do you guys think? Should I switch it out?

[Speaker 2] Or Switch it. The head’s in the pit. If it if we have to fight a headless monster, then fucking so be it. He ain’t got no head.

[Speaker 3] Yeah. Everything’s scattered as much as possible. Should we just try to just

[Speaker 1] And I’m looking around. There’s nothing else in here. It’s literally just that’s all that we’re seeing here?

[Speaker 0] Yeah. I mean, there’s the throne, and then, you know, there’s, like, an area above the throne, like, wall all around.

[Speaker 1] Anything above us? Any treasure?

[Speaker 0] Nothing that y’all no porches or anything. Coblabs and Oh. Stone and vine.

[Speaker 1] I’m gonna I’m gonna cast detect magic again. I

[Speaker 3] do also have a barrel of TNT that we can put into the wild bear’s stomach, light a fuse Envelope it.

[Speaker 1] And get Let’s hold off on that. Yeah. He seems pretty decomposed and shit too. I mean, I I think that’s not gonna be

[Speaker 0] part. The

[Speaker 2] It’s not gonna be the main source When we fucking take this golden statue thing off if it’s a little pressure plate and put the other thing on, he’s gonna reassemble zombified. Like like,

[Speaker 0] we know

[Speaker 2] that’s coming. Right? Like

[Speaker 1] I mean,

[Speaker 3] that pit waiting

[Speaker 2] for I didn’t I I I I signed on the head to come tumbling down the hallway.

[Speaker 1] I cast detect magic, and I’m looking around for for anything suspicious.

[Speaker 0] You detect no magic nor on the throne or on the aloe bear nor on the statue.

[Speaker 1] Also The statue is not even magic?

[Speaker 3] The also, doors are closed. What doors? The door that we got in through, it closed.

[Speaker 1] It’s closed. Did it close behind

[Speaker 0] us? It closed behind y’all.

[Speaker 2] But we can Oh, fuck. So we need to think about Okay. What’s under the throne? Wait.

[Speaker 1] Can I inspect the the the whatchamacallit? The the statue? You just describe it.

[Speaker 0] Yeah. Yeah. It’s just like golden statue that bears sort of, like, arched as such. And on its face, it’s like cylindrical, pure gold, and then on its face is the, like, 8 eyes of a spider.

[Speaker 1] And it’s at the door, it said speak the spider.

[Speaker 2] Yeah. Speak spider? Speak spider. Did you have to, but only Okay.

[Speaker 1] I’m pulling my pipe out. I’m about

[Speaker 0] to puff another

[Speaker 1] spider. We can’t sleep before I touch this thing.

[Speaker 3] You can use the feathers of sending to tell Kevin to open the door from

[Speaker 0] that side.

[Speaker 3] Fuck. Yeah.

[Speaker 0] Moghammer does hold the feathers of sending. So

[Speaker 2] But but he can he open the door? He’s the 1 who spoke spider.

[Speaker 0] He is the

[Speaker 3] 1 who spoke spider.

[Speaker 1] No. Got feathers of spider. Use them. Kinda crawl crawl around.

[Speaker 0] There’s no magical properties on the on the set.

[Speaker 1] Damn. Okay. Alright. I’m ready. I’m ready.

[Speaker 1] You guys ready? Hand was ready

[Speaker 3] as we can be. Alright.

[Speaker 1] I got the I got the the kidney. I should probably roll for this. Right? I got the kidney in 1 hand. Alright.

[Speaker 1] Kidney in 1 hand. And I’m kinda jogging on it. I’m just kinda I’m gonna Sleds dripping down his forehead. I’m gonna switch it, and it the 2nd I switch it, I’m casting minor illusion on it. It’s gonna look like nothing even happened, and I’m immediately tucking that thing in my backpack.

[Speaker 0] The sweats

[Speaker 2] I’m facing I’m not watching. I’m facing the hallway to the pit with the with the head.

[Speaker 0] Yeah.

[Speaker 4] It’s a 2. Okay.

[Speaker 0] It doesn’t it doesn’t matter. It’s a clean, beady switch. Pause. What’s happening with Lilith, Moghammer, Isilrod?

[Speaker 2] What

[Speaker 1] do you mean by that?

[Speaker 0] Going I’m just I’m going right back to the conversation you’re just having. Right.

[Speaker 4] I’ve been mulling it over a while.

[Speaker 0] I mean, life is hell.

[Speaker 3] Would you agree?

[Speaker 4] Look, Lilith. I just think there’s something we must be able to do to help them without entering the temple.

[Speaker 0] To help. Do you know of anything? I no. I I want the help. I do I do want the help.

[Speaker 0] I do want the help. But But what, Lilith? You’re not so Lily White like a thot. Isilrod, take this. What is what is it?

[Speaker 0] I’m passing you a card. We’re cutting back. What? Oh. We’re cutting back.

[Speaker 0] Bam. The switch had just been conducted. A gold statue goes into his pocket. Nothing happens.

[Speaker 1] Chill. We all just kinda like Yeah. We fucking did it,

[Speaker 2] boys. Yeah. Dads. We’re throwing steel. Yeah.

[Speaker 0] Portal drops from beneath the chamber or beneath the behind the

[Speaker 2] Little celebrate?

[Speaker 0] The throne. Above the throne, a portal drops, giant boulder starts rolling. Starts rolling.

[Speaker 1] I fucking knew it.

[Speaker 0] Alright. Boulder’s rolling that fills the entire chamber. Go.

[Speaker 1] Okay. I’m I’m sprinting. I yell, we talked about this, guys. I fucking

[Speaker 4] said this was gonna happen.

[Speaker 1] You you fucking bird style. You do the rope thing. Yep. Faf is coming through the back. How do I get out?

[Speaker 1] I got a Faf

[Speaker 2] I’m I’m doing the you you spread ahead of me. You you got rope in mouth. I’ve got rope in mouth too.

[Speaker 0] That’s all there. Is on y’all’s ass.

[Speaker 1] I’m running. I’m Bodle’s ass.

[Speaker 0] Y’all are running. Bodle’s He’s

[Speaker 2] already climbing while he’s flying.

[Speaker 1] I’m doing the and he’s you know, and he

[Speaker 2] you do

[Speaker 1] you You gotta tie the thing?

[Speaker 0] What? The rope is falling down on the end of the chasm.

[Speaker 2] No. No.

[Speaker 1] He’s he’s he’s he’s

[Speaker 2] flew Flew the rope across.

[Speaker 0] No. No.

[Speaker 1] It’s it’s tied on the it’s tied on 1 side. Right?

[Speaker 0] It’s tied on 1 side. So all you need to do is tie it into The rope is tied down and is flat.

[Speaker 2] Get over there and tie it. Alright. I fly I fly over. You pick up. Scoop it up.

[Speaker 2] Yeah.

[Speaker 3] Immediately start tying it to the other side.

[Speaker 0] Beautiful. Okay.

[Speaker 1] See it. I it. Boulder on your ass. I jump.

[Speaker 0] He jumps.

[Speaker 1] Grab. I’m I’m roping. You’re grab. Faf.

[Speaker 0] Get the Roll. Roll for athletics.

[Speaker 1] Me? Yep. Okay.

[Speaker 0] Faf, what are you doing? Hold on. Boulder is coming.

[Speaker 1] 12 plus It’s a. Absolutely.

[Speaker 0] You’re good. You’re you’re you’re 6 eights across.

[Speaker 1] 6 eights across. I’m still rooting.

[Speaker 0] Faf is about to run.

[Speaker 2] Faf says, I will never forgive myself for this, and lobs a jar of honey over his shoulder. What? To slow down the boulder. I’m just

[Speaker 3] thinking The

[Speaker 1] jar of

[Speaker 0] honey smashes on this 3 ton boulder and does nothing.

[Speaker 2] Go. Horse shit. That is a huge waste of honey. We can’t allow that to happen. It has to at least save my life.

[Speaker 0] Go. I don’t know what I don’t know what What doing? What are are you doing? What do mean what

[Speaker 1] I’m doing? Right now, pause,

[Speaker 2] pause, freeze

[Speaker 0] frame. You’re sprinting.

[Speaker 2] George, you’re good.

[Speaker 0] You’re about 2 yards from the chasm. You’re about 2 yards from the chasm. Yeah. Crow man is free and clear on the other side. Bodius is 6 eights of the way across.

[Speaker 0] Yes. You are 2 yards away. He’s on a line. Yes. What are you doing?

[Speaker 3] I am

[Speaker 2] jumping out into thin air

[Speaker 1] and grabbing the rope and just fucking dwarf fisting it

[Speaker 0] like this. Okay. Perfect.

[Speaker 2] I expect it to snap behind me.

[Speaker 0] Perfect. That’s good. Roll.

[Speaker 2] 5.

[Speaker 0] You dwarfist. You cast the rope. Bam. It snaps on the side closest to the boulder. The boulder keeps charging forward.

[Speaker 0] You immediately, wha bam, into the wall. Bodius, because he was 6 eights of the way across, it comes down. Bam. He just makes it over the ledge of the wall. You are about 50% of the wall.

[Speaker 0] Yeah. What are you doing? Boulder is dropping in and will squish you. You got about 10 seconds.

[Speaker 2] 10 whole seconds.

[Speaker 1] I hit the ground, and I see everything going on. And I start to I start to try to grab the rope in a in, like, a I know I’m weak, but I gotta try something. I try to I try to kinda start to haul the

[Speaker 2] roll. Behind them? Roll.

[Speaker 0] It’s a 6. You get them up, like, 2 inches. Okay.

[Speaker 1] 2 inches. I’m still working

[Speaker 2] at it.

[Speaker 0] And that yeah.

[Speaker 3] I’m doing the same too. I can run it behind them.

[Speaker 0] Are you in pro 4?

[Speaker 3] Yeah. I am.

[Speaker 1] That takes an hour. I’m panicking. Eldrick blast, the the thing. I’m try to Eldrick blast

[Speaker 0] the It spots open a little bit.

[Speaker 2] I let go of the room.

[Speaker 1] Can I hear any of this going on from inside?

[Speaker 2] And I embrace my ultimate agility move, dash. I slide down. I touch foot off the bottom, and I dwarven sprint

[Speaker 0] 13. 13. You are able to dwarven sprint in this sort of, like, lightning speed maneuver and drop, bang, back up, and you are 6 eights of the way up, but that’s it. And you you catch on to the rope that is still there that your allies are handling. You’re basically in the same spot.

[Speaker 2] I use 2nd wind to thrust myself a a bit further. Kinda like throwing it down.

[Speaker 0] Okay. No.

[Speaker 2] No. No.

[Speaker 1] I I assess the situation. Wait. What let me see.

[Speaker 0] I’m gonna take

[Speaker 2] some break.

[Speaker 3] Form, and I’m gonna get underneath him and start flapping my wings as hard as possible and try and lift him a little bit.

[Speaker 2] And I start giggling because I can feel the fluttering

[Speaker 0] in between my cheeks. The great elephant tusks are out. The wings are flat. 20. A nat 20.

[Speaker 0] Alright. What are what are you gonna do?

[Speaker 1] I don’t know. I You

[Speaker 0] have you have you have 10 seconds to decide for this boulder crashes down. 9876.

[Speaker 2] Just let me die, boys. 5.

[Speaker 3] Eldritch wood. Massive eldritch glass at the bottom of the pit. I got intrudes us up.

[Speaker 0] Yeah. Yeah. I got Eldritch splotch.

[Speaker 1] Elder blast in the in the ground.

[Speaker 2] Yeah. Massive explosion.

[Speaker 0] Elder sponge on the ground with a natural 20. The raven’s wings somehow what was a 2 foot long creature grows, the wingspan becomes that of an eagle with great thrust. Somehow launches just just 12 inches. Just 12 inches. This is Faf.

[Speaker 0] Shoot up. Boulder. Clipping half of his main and dealing 25 damage down. What? Yeah.

[Speaker 0] Yep. Sorry. Do by mane? Yeah. Your your beard, your hair.

[Speaker 3] Mhmm.

[Speaker 0] You can’t clip on your Your neck hair has been clipped. It will reburrito, and you did still sustain 25 damage. Jesus fuck. I’m sorry. See you again.

[Speaker 0] Can you even take that much damage?

[Speaker 1] Yeah. I got 1.

[Speaker 2] I got

[Speaker 0] 31 health. Oh, shit.

[Speaker 1] It’s fucked. I knew it was I knew it was gonna be a fucking boulder, dude.

[Speaker 0] Yeah. Yeah. You’re gonna put a fucking

[Speaker 2] pit when there’s a fat guy on the team? Come on.

[Speaker 0] He comes up. Dust flies as this fucking boulder craters down into the pit, smashing all that calcified Mhmm. Mhmm. Wood. And y’all made it across.

[Speaker 0] What do y’all do?

[Speaker 2] Faf has taken a long rest in this stuff. Ugh.

[Speaker 1] That was fucked. Yeah.

[Speaker 2] That was pretty cool.

[Speaker 3] Weird without the beard. I don’t why.

[Speaker 2] I still have a beard. This is not That’s not cool. Don’t talk about that. We can retouch it.

[Speaker 3] We can huge transplant.

[Speaker 1] We’ll go to Turkey

[Speaker 0] after this. Beer is fine.

[Speaker 2] Beer is fine. He’s there.

[Speaker 0] Very much just, you know,

[Speaker 1] part of What

[Speaker 0] did they what did they say

[Speaker 1] about this? They’re just looking for this gold statue? It’s just a it’s a gold statue.

[Speaker 4] Here for?

[Speaker 2] I mean,

[Speaker 1] nobody was nobody was confused by the kidney. It was perfectly balanced. Alright.

[Speaker 0] What do y’all do? The exit stands at the ready.

[Speaker 1] How how deep does the how deep does the boulder go down?

[Speaker 0] Like, 20 feet, 30 feet. It’s basically filling up the whole area.

[Speaker 1] Like, could you, like, walk across it? Walk kinda vibe?

[Speaker 0] No. No.

[Speaker 2] Let’s get out

[Speaker 3] of here.

[Speaker 2] Yeah. This place sucks.

[Speaker 3] Need to use the feather ascended, maybe?

[Speaker 1] They start heading towards the the exit, I guess.

[Speaker 0] Yeah. As y’all start to undulate through the tunnel again, doors, you can see a crack of light between them, and y’all are moving close to them. And they begin to slowly peel open at y’all’s exiting as if they knew you were there.

[Speaker 4] Okay. Yeah.

[Speaker 3] Wow. That was a close 1, guys.

[Speaker 1] That yeah.

[Speaker 3] Shit. Hopefully, there’s nothing waiting outside

[Speaker 1] here. Well, let’s just

[Speaker 0] As you see the doors creaking open and open and sort of it’s now maybe 9AM, and light is piercing in more, opening and opening and scowning. You can see the fog wall in the distance and then the sort of ground and canopy cover 20 feet straight ahead, you see Moghammer,

[Speaker 1] And

[Speaker 0] Isilrod bound and gagged and sitting right before you, their eyes bulging in terror and warning as you step outside of the temple.

[Speaker 1] It will Are we good? Dude, I knew she was a baddie.

[Speaker 3] Fuck. She’s doing some freaky shit. I look

[Speaker 2] around for Oh, yeah. I start noticing what for Health?

[Speaker 4] Health potion. Health potion.

[Speaker 2] Tank. The tank almost dead. Don’t you have 1? No, dude.

[Speaker 1] Alright. I I take my health potion.

[Speaker 0] Do y’all step outside?

[Speaker 1] So we’re we’re not walking outside yet?

[Speaker 0] You’re you’re right at the threshold.

[Speaker 1] I am going to before I walk outside, I take my health potion, and I smash it on top of Faf’s head. Okay.

[Speaker 2] Yeah. How that work? How many heals

[Speaker 0] do I get?

[Speaker 4] You can do that.

[Speaker 1] My potion of healing is a bonus action, drink it or administrate it. 2 d 4 plus 2 hit points. Roll 2 d 4. Add 2.

[Speaker 2] 3 1

[Speaker 1] 6. Okay. Oh, that’s Yeah. You get 6 health back.

[Speaker 0] As it’s brutal, it’s crashing down upon his A figure comes out of the mist behind as y’all were standing along earlier, Domino’s Russian dolls. This figure emerges behind Moghammer and Isilrod, and he is tall, 7 feet at least, shaved head with a bare chest beneath a cloak of something that was once could be described as fine fabric. It is now half scorched, half rotten, half undead. His left arm from the elbow down is twisted and wrong. The skin has turned violet black of a fresh bruise.

[Speaker 0] The veins lit beneath it like cracks and cool lava. He smiles and all around in this sunlit jungle oases. The air tastes like copper and ozone. He isn’t afraid of you. He has no reason to be.

[Speaker 0] Yeah. Give me the statue where the frog dies, he says, lifting a knife underneath Moghammer’s gullet. Fuck.

[Speaker 2] My axe is hurling through the air at his forehead.

[Speaker 0] The throwing axe?

[Speaker 2] The throwing axe. 20. A

[Speaker 3] nat 20. Damn. As

[Speaker 0] he’s doing that, I Nat 20 hesitation. I love it.

[Speaker 1] I misty step behind

[Speaker 0] him. You had misty step Obeltau? Yeah. I have a misty step. You were just holding on around it,

[Speaker 1] and they’re crying. What the hell is misty step? I didn’t really think about it, and, also, you don’t wanna miss that. I misty step behind him in a crouch, and I Elder Blast I do, like, a, like, a double finger guns. I Elder Blast straight up as gooch.

[Speaker 1] No. No. Okay? I’m crouched, and I finger guns, Elder Glass. I love it.

[Speaker 1] Straight up gooch.

[Speaker 0] I love it. I love it. I love love it.

[Speaker 3] Yeah. And and simultaneously, we’re all yelling, triad’s kiss,

[Speaker 2] which at when upon the the toadless triad’s kiss, Faf dead sprints chasing his own axe that’s hurling through the air, skids to a stop, and screams intimidation. No. Yes. Yes.

[Speaker 0] You don’t get 2 actions.

[Speaker 2] It’s not my action. This is the team action.

[Speaker 3] 2. 2. Alright.

[Speaker 0] Well, let me let me catch up to what we’re dealing with here.

[Speaker 1] Okay. I need a roll for my Alright.

[Speaker 0] The axe.

[Speaker 1] I need a roll for my Elder Blast.

[Speaker 0] Roll with advantage 2 d twenties because you got surprise on them. Immediate attack. Do d 20 for me?

[Speaker 1] What? Me or him? Do d 20. Oh, you need

[Speaker 0] a d 20.

[Speaker 2] 2 d 2 d twenties?

[Speaker 3] Oh, mate.

[Speaker 2] 13 and 17.

[Speaker 0] Plus anything?

[Speaker 1] Plus For what? Hit. Uh-oh.

[Speaker 2] What do you mean for, like, my attacks? Scroll plus 6. I’m confused.

[Speaker 0] Yeah. Your attack. You you threw an axe. D c. Yeah.

[Speaker 0] You threw an axe, does it hit,

[Speaker 2] or does it miss? You said roll 2 d twenties.

[Speaker 0] You had advantage because yeah. For your hit attack, and you had advantage because you surprised them. Okay.

[Speaker 3] The 20 was for surprise attack?

[Speaker 0] So when you roll 2 2 twenties for advantage, you pick 1, the highest 1.

[Speaker 2] Okay. 17 plus 6. Okay.

[Speaker 0] That hits. Alright. Now roll down.

[Speaker 2] Cidetin? No. 6 plus 4. 10. 10.

[Speaker 2] The

[Speaker 0] axe strikes him directly in the shoulder. The knife that was underneath behind underneath Moghammer’s gullets just shears off, only doing 1 damage to Moghammer. And then the axe strike pushes him back. At the same time, we got a Misty Step, Elger’s blast.

[Speaker 1] He falls. He his butthole fall slides straight into my finger. Your fingers are just

[Speaker 2] It so just just

[Speaker 0] made

[Speaker 2] the the fall, and he falls perfectly. I’m good.

[Speaker 0] Roll for that.

[Speaker 3] Okay.

[Speaker 1] 12. Do do I add the hit DC? I think I do. Yeah.

[Speaker 0] Yeah. I Eldridge badge Eldridge Flash is like an

[Speaker 1] It adds 5, so it would be 17.

[Speaker 0] That hits.

[Speaker 1] And then I roll a 1 d 10.

[Speaker 3] Let me just get plus 3. I get so drunk.

[Speaker 4] What? We should do a whole day

[Speaker 3] of this and just get

[Speaker 2] I know.

[Speaker 1] I know. It’s a 10. It’s a 10 plus 3 is 13.

[Speaker 0] 13 damage? Yeah. Wait. What’s the roll? You roll a oh, it’s a you roll a d 10,

[Speaker 2] and you roll a 10.

[Speaker 1] I got 10 damage on that plus 3 is 13.

[Speaker 0] That eldritch blast not only rips through the gooch

[Speaker 4] of

[Speaker 0] this figure, it also blasts apart, and it’s emanated its penumbra’s the binds that were upon Isilrod giving him hand mobility, but his hands are still bound and his mouth is still bound.

[Speaker 1] Oh, yeah.

[Speaker 2] Did you say that Moghammer was gagged?

[Speaker 0] Yes. Gagged. Toad. Alright. The the surprise is now done and over.

[Speaker 0] Everyone rule initiative that has hands, so Moghammer cannot use this. 16.

[Speaker 2] 15.

[Speaker 4] 15. This 1.

[Speaker 2] 13. Plus 3.

[Speaker 1] Yeah. 16. Do you roll do you add on initiative?

[Speaker 0] Initiative? Yeah. It’s a d 20 plus your dexterity modifier.

[Speaker 1] So 16. Plus 2. 18.

[Speaker 3] 15. 16.

[Speaker 1] So I got the highest.

[Speaker 2] We tied it for 2nd. You left. Yeah.

[Speaker 0] So it’s It’s a good roll.

[Speaker 1] 18, 16, 16, and 15. Who

[Speaker 0] got the 15? Me. Isilrod.

[Speaker 4] Me, Isilrod Gurglestrom.

[Speaker 3] You’re gagged?

[Speaker 4] No longer gagged.

[Speaker 2] Is there a you

[Speaker 1] got hand, though. Maybe

[Speaker 3] you’re yeah. Gagglestrum.

[Speaker 2] If you if you got hands, dude, quit start strumming. You know what

[Speaker 0] I’m saying? Mhmm.

[Speaker 2] Bust out 1 of the loops or something. Little Dulsa or play with spins. I can play Dulsa with some spins. We could use some good music.

[Speaker 0] Okay. This whole figure. The what figure? That just got axed. What’s it look like at time?

[Speaker 2] It’s hooded. Hooded. Okay.

[Speaker 0] No. No. He’s not hooded. No. He’s not hooded.

[Speaker 0] He’s tall with a shaved head, bare chested completely with trousers, but and a cloak that was made of fine fabric that is now decayed and rotten into something else. And he, taking these blows, the eldritch blast of the gooch, the axe, The chest. He cast a hypnotic spell. I’m sorry. He casts hypnotic pattern, which creates a 30 foot cube.

[Speaker 0] All of y’all are within this 30 foot cube because that is the entirety of the fog wall around you. Everyone roll a DC 14 wisdom set.

[Speaker 1] Did he have highest initiative?

[Speaker 0] 14. He

[Speaker 1] did. A d 20?

[Speaker 0] Yeah. A d 20?

[Speaker 1] Is that what you roll? You said No. No.

[Speaker 2] No. No. Oh, wait. Wait. Oh, you roll a d 20.

[Speaker 0] You roll. Yeah. No. No. No.

[Speaker 0] Roll a d c 14 wisdom save. So you roll d 20, then add your wisdom modifier to it. Only 16. Okay. You only save if it’s above a 14.

[Speaker 2] So 16 is

[Speaker 4] the save. Roll on the the 4. Okay.

[Speaker 3] Let’s say 10 for me.

[Speaker 0] Okay. The only person that saved is fat. The white hat has turned. The cube that he has dropped upon y’all causes anybody to have failed you 3 to be incapacitated. Incapacitation means you can’t take actions or reactions or bonus actions at all.

[Speaker 0] The only way you can break it is when it comes around to your turn if you beat the d c 14 save or if you take damage. So for all intents and purposes, y’all are

[Speaker 1] down. And we we can’t run around or anything?

[Speaker 0] Can’t do anything. Okay. Cannot do anything unless you take damage or on your next ability to roll, you Break. Eat the roll. Break the roll.

[Speaker 0] Then he misty steps 30 feet into the other direction, landing right in front of the door across the way.

[Speaker 1] So he’s outside of the cube?

[Speaker 0] He’s still within the cube, but it’s his cube. So Yeah. He’s just as far away from all of y’all.

[Speaker 2] I’ve never really got away from the door. That’s where I threw the axe from. The moment I saw Moghammer in danger, there was an axe in the air.

[Speaker 0] That’s a good point. Alright. Fair enough. Run run it. It’s your gun.

[Speaker 3] Mist Misty Step into

[Speaker 2] my space. I may not have an axe on hand anymore.

[Speaker 4] Mhmm. Oh,

[Speaker 2] the boys. I’m not. I have a maul. A 2 handed heavy maul.

[Speaker 0] Did you just start your turn? Yeah. This man has unnerving presence, which says that any creature that starts his turn within 10 feet of him must succeed on a DC 13 wisdom saving throw or be frightened until the next turn. Frightened 10 frightened. Tough.

[Speaker 0] You can’t if you are Friday, you can’t willingly move to the source of fear, and you have disadvantage on all rolls. So roll your DC thirteen’s wisdom saving. Okay. So you fail that. You can still attack.

[Speaker 0] You’re within 10 feet of them. You can do whatever you want, but you’ll have disadvantage, and you cannot move closer to him.

[Speaker 2] Okay. I attacked with my mom.

[Speaker 0] That requires you to move closer to him, Why? You can throw it right end. You can only throw.

[Speaker 2] I can throw in them all at his head. Alright. I’m just throwing them all at his dick.

[Speaker 0] 9. Misses. Plus 5. Misses.

[Speaker 2] Alright. I have no weapons now. Very low health.

[Speaker 0] Okay. It is now technically, it’s Bodius Cistern.

[Speaker 2] Wait. Bonus action. I’m gonna drop on limited well physical and mental stamina to you regain 1 d 10 plus 3 health points.

[Speaker 0] Okay. So

[Speaker 2] I don’t fucking

[Speaker 3] die. Yeah.

[Speaker 2] 8 plus 3. That’s

[Speaker 0] big. Nice.

[Speaker 2] So I get 11. Alright.

[Speaker 0] Body. Yes. K. You got a you got a DC 14 Smoke that 1 up.

[Speaker 1] Yeah. Smoke that 1 up. It’s 1 of my

[Speaker 2] it’s 1 of my magic tricks. That’s fucking huge.

[Speaker 0] Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Speaker 2] 18. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

[Speaker 0] Yeah. Alright.

[Speaker 2] I’m gonna

[Speaker 1] get That’s how

[Speaker 0] we go with it. You got it. I know. You broke free.

[Speaker 1] Okay. I’m

[Speaker 0] casting action is spent.

[Speaker 1] Okay. Bonus action, I’m casting hex blades curse once per short rest as a bonus action. Choose 1 creature to curse it. Within 30 feet to curse it for a minute or until they die or whatever. Against the cursed target, you gain plus 2 bonus to damage roll score critical hit on roll of 19 20, and you gain 6 HP of your guys.

[Speaker 0] Dude, you Dude, don’t judge me. I’m drinking a ride the motorcycle, honey. Yes. I can.

[Speaker 1] No. Alright. I did that. And then and then I and I grab is the is is that’s axe near me?

[Speaker 0] You can’t grab your you got an axe.

[Speaker 1] Oh, okay.

[Speaker 2] Yeah. Yeah.

[Speaker 1] Okay. The

[Speaker 2] axe is in it.

[Speaker 1] Well, I’m done then. I guess.

[Speaker 0] Yeah. You whatever that bonus action is, we’ll circle back on. Bonzo.

[Speaker 3] Need some smoke for this. Yeah. Yeah. Sorry. Sorry.

[Speaker 3] Captain. I’m like,

[Speaker 2] Captain. Captain.

[Speaker 0] Where’s the socket?

[Speaker 3] There you go.

[Speaker 2] I got I got a

[Speaker 1] Sprite bottle, but no socket, brothers.

[Speaker 0] It

[Speaker 1] worked so well. Martin. He’s good.

[Speaker 0] He’s clean. You can catch bonus actions, but that’s good.

[Speaker 3] Bonus action. I’m gonna use my bonus action of a 2 handed sorry. An unarmed unarmed attack on him, and just gonna go in there with

[Speaker 0] my fist. I’m just blows. Alright.

[Speaker 2] Yeah. You

[Speaker 0] are next

[Speaker 2] to 19.

[Speaker 0] Boom. Boom. Boom. Yeah. That hits.

[Speaker 0] That

[Speaker 4] hits. Alright.

[Speaker 3] And then the 1 d 6. 0. Plus 3, so 9.

[Speaker 0] 0. Nice. Alright. You’re done. Isilrod.

[Speaker 3] You Where’d it go?

[Speaker 4] Where’d the vape go?

[Speaker 2] That’s right. Sorry.

[Speaker 0] You don’t need that. You don’t need that good boy vape. Come on now. Free him from that incapacitation. I’ve already I’ve already I’ve already predicted it’s

[Speaker 1] gonna be a a fatal role.

[Speaker 0] Nice. Smooky. Ugh. Damn. Isilrod is still incapacitated.

[Speaker 0] Moghammer is still incapacitated. You didn’t secure the holes.

[Speaker 3] Mine didn’t. Guys secured the smoke.

[Speaker 1] Alright. Whose turn is it?

[Speaker 0] The man’s turn. The man. You don’t ever caught his name. And who’s all up?

[Speaker 1] Us 3. Us 3

[Speaker 2] up. Yep.

[Speaker 1] D, Bodius Bodius

[Speaker 0] From he’s near the entrance. Right next to him is Faf or And Bodius. Faf isn’t within striking range, but he’s within, like, 5 feet. Bonzo is right next to him, and he casts scorching ray, shooting 3 rays out. We’ll see if they hit.

[Speaker 0] Could you roll that? Oh, Jesus. Jesus. Fuck. Oh my god.

[Speaker 0] You fucked up. You fucked up

[Speaker 1] hard. That’s flipping

[Speaker 2] dice roll. You almost used

[Speaker 0] the castle. That’s all you think about. Each of y’all each y’all take each of y’all take 4 d 6 of damage. Now we can roll this independently for you. 4 d 6?

[Speaker 0] I’ll let y’all decide if y’all want these are this is a 46. Just roll them all.

[Speaker 3] Roll them all.

[Speaker 0] Roll them all, and y’all will take equal damage. Sure. 10 12 13. Each person? Each person.

[Speaker 0] Holy shit. That’s bad. It’s big. 46. I mean, I got modifying those health points.

[Speaker 0] Yeah. Mhmm. It looks like a. That is his whole turn, and it turns to Bodius.

[Speaker 2] I thought I was 1st in the queue.

[Speaker 1] He well, I was incapacitated the 1st time, I guess.

[Speaker 2] Okay. Okay.

[Speaker 1] I’ve got a full turn now, essentially. Right? Mhmm. K. So I’m I’m posted up.

[Speaker 1] I’m still I’m still kind of kneeling. And I I get into, like, kind of a, like, a classic, like, bunker snipers pose. You know? I’m like, I got my knees up, and I’m I’m with my with my hands, I’m finger gunsing, but more like a sniper finger guns. And I do that classic, like

[Speaker 0] Oh, shit. Hold your breath

[Speaker 1] and slow exhale. And I you know, like, the classic Sniper sight thing. I’ve already licked the air for for wind, you know, and everything. Yeah. Yeah.

[Speaker 0] Yeah. You’ve done your helmet.

[Speaker 2] And I and I

[Speaker 1] blast him with an elder strike. Build a blast. Yeah. So it’s an 8 plus 5, which is 12.

[Speaker 0] It doesn’t hit. The electric flash just shrieks by his earlobe and smashes into the doors beyond them. M13. Where

[Speaker 1] is he? He’s 10 He’s, like Within 10 feet. He’s right

[Speaker 0] in front of the doors.

[Speaker 2] Oh, so he’s close to me.

[Speaker 0] Yeah. He’s, like, 10 feet. He’s not in striking range of you, and you were frightened last turn.

[Speaker 2] You moved close closer to him.

[Speaker 4] Never afraid.

[Speaker 0] But in any event, it is now your turn, Joe. I step

[Speaker 2] 5 feet closer.

[Speaker 0] Which Because you are within 10 feet of him, you have to roll an again A 1 d 13.

[Speaker 1] A a 1 d 20 for you have to be 13.

[Speaker 0] Oh. So you cannot set up close to him. Your maul is penetrating into the ground.

[Speaker 1] You could run away, though, and then the next turn, you could run towards him because you wouldn’t be you wouldn’t have to roll the d 20. Yeah. If that makes sense. Like, you could go run and you could go run and get your axe, for example.

[Speaker 2] Where’s my axe? I thought it was

[Speaker 0] in his chest. Near me. Yeah. I mean, like, hit his chest and fell out. It didn’t, stick in there like a target.

[Speaker 1] It’s probably 20 it’s probably 20 feet away from you towards me, my direction.

[Speaker 2] Alright. I

[Speaker 0] fuck. You get free Moghammer?

[Speaker 2] No. I attacked with my scumitar.

[Speaker 0] You you throw a scumitar. At his head. But it wasn’t equipped.

[Speaker 2] It’s in my inventory.

[Speaker 0] I’ve got Yeah. But even something that’s in your inventory, if it’s not equipped, it takes an action to equip. Really? Yeah. Yeah.

[Speaker 0] Yeah. I’ll let you get away with it on the mall, but you don’t need to

[Speaker 2] get to You can’t just change

[Speaker 0] the rules. That’s retconning

[Speaker 2] or whatever you

[Speaker 1] call it.

[Speaker 0] No. That’s not retconning. That was a rule that existed that I let you penetrate. But you don’t get infinite changing the rules? You don’t get infinite

[Speaker 1] throwing Never. Never let Faf penetrate. Alright. What’s your

[Speaker 4] move? Come on.

[Speaker 2] I would like to throw the scimitar at his head.

[Speaker 0] Okay. You equip it, and that’s your action. Bonzo, it’s your turn.

[Speaker 2] Fuck. You

[Speaker 1] have a bonus action as well. I know. Can use. I know. Potential.

[Speaker 1] You could heal again.

[Speaker 0] Yeah. That’s 1 2nd.

[Speaker 2] I’m gonna heal. I’m gonna heal.

[Speaker 1] He has 2 he has 2 2nd ones.

[Speaker 2] Yeah. I’ve got 2 2nd ones.

[Speaker 3] Okay. You’re gonna heal.

[Speaker 0] That’s why starting the 2nd 1. Yeah. Alright. Bonzo. Hold on.

[Speaker 4] He’s gotta roll it.

[Speaker 2] 7 plus 3, we get 10.

[Speaker 0] Nice. Bonzo. Alright.

[Speaker 3] I’m still right next

[Speaker 2] to him.

[Speaker 0] Yeah. You’re you’re right up you’re right in the gut, so you need a roll. Oh, you need start your turn. If it’s within 10 feet, you

[Speaker 3] have to roll the

[Speaker 0] the thigh and save.

[Speaker 3] Okay.

[Speaker 0] So roll of d 20.

[Speaker 3] 12 You’re good. You’re

[Speaker 0] good. Yeah.

[Speaker 3] Alright. Alright. I’m gonna just start climbing up his body and start gnawing on his abdomen.

[Speaker 0] The classic abdomen gnaw? Yeah. Alright. That’s an unarmed attack, I assume.

[Speaker 3] Yeah. It is. It is 9 plus 5, so 14. That hits. That hits.

[Speaker 3] Alright. And then a 1 d 6. So plus 3 7 damage.

[Speaker 0] Nice. And

[Speaker 3] then for my bonus action, I can do a would disengaging and dodging do me any good in this situation? Like, am I able to, like, use that if he attacks me in the next turn? I don’t know. I guess I don’t know how the disengage the disengage and dodge actions work. Click on.

[Speaker 3] These ones?

[Speaker 0] Yeah. Click on here and click on the actual thing. It’s up to

[Speaker 3] you. I’m just gonna go back in there and keep gnawing at his abdomen.

[Speaker 0] Another. A bonus action attack?

[Speaker 3] Yeah. Bonus action attack. That hits. That hits. Another sudden damage.

[Speaker 3] Boom.

[Speaker 0] Alright. Yeah. Gurglestrom making a play on the tower. Okay. Okay.

[Speaker 0] Oh, god. A tragedy. As that fails, so too does Moghammer start bucking and mawing underneath his gag, bound and recovered. And at the same time that that fails, incapacitated on the ground lies Isilrod paralyzed as if he looked into the eye of the Medusa. Lilith peers out from the fog.

[Speaker 1] She’s been just she’s been vibing in the fog the whole time?

[Speaker 3] Mhmm. And

[Speaker 0] part of her wants to leap in and save Isilrod, and part of her wants to see all of you slaughter. It’s the The it’s the man’s turn again.

[Speaker 4] Who’s a bitch?

[Speaker 0] It’s the man’s turn again, and he resides still at the foot of the doorstep. He casts Misty Step moving to the far eastern side away from everybody. Then he cast corrupted bolt, very Palpatine like at Bodius. Damn. Has a 1 20 reach.

[Speaker 0] Somebody roll a d 20.

[Speaker 4] Let me wait for you this day.

[Speaker 0] 16. I assume that hits. What’s my recourse?

[Speaker 2] The armor class? Is

[Speaker 0] that armor class? No. You have you have no recourse. It’s I mean, yes. It’s armor class.

[Speaker 1] Do you

[Speaker 0] have armor class? 14. Yeah.

[Speaker 2] But at that same time, I throw read my b m b a m f fish shield, big ass motherfucking fish shield, which has a plus 2. Let me see.

[Speaker 0] If only it were so

[Speaker 2] No? Can’t do that?

[Speaker 0] No. Wrong. Okay. You take 12 damage. Fuck, dude.

[Speaker 0] That’s ridiculous. Wait. Where you take 12 damage.

[Speaker 2] He’s he’s dead.

[Speaker 1] I’m down. He’s down. Every every fucking fight, I go down. And then you motherfuckers never hit me up. I’ve been down.

[Speaker 0] What? You’re incapacitated. It’s just like if 1 of them just struck you with a dagger, they could’ve brought you up. Wait. Is is could’ve if somebody saved them on camera, they could’ve

[Speaker 1] brought you Is Bonzo is Bonzo still attached to the guy? He’s still

[Speaker 2] holding on to his abdomen. No. Yeah. He’s gone. Yeah.

[Speaker 0] He’s but no. So did I the Misty Step, when he Misty Step away

[Speaker 3] I don’t Misty Step with him.

[Speaker 0] You don’t Misty Step with him. You just say

[Speaker 4] Wait. So when Moghammer and I get inflicted with any damage from any You

[Speaker 0] you get, buddy. Incapacitated. You fucking dumb boss.

[Speaker 2] I didn’t know that.

[Speaker 0] Hit that thing. Well, we said it. We said it. Anyways, it is now Bodius is stern, Bodius is dumb, so it is Faf’s stern.

[Speaker 2] Faf Faf goes and lets up Isilrod.

[Speaker 0] Okay. Yeah. So you don’t have to do the deal the deal. How do you let them up, though?

[Speaker 2] I give them a kick and say, get in the fight, son. Perfect. We need more dwarfs.

[Speaker 0] Perfect. 1 1 damage to you on the kick. Do you have any bonus actions?

[Speaker 2] I’m spent on bonus actions, technically.

[Speaker 0] Spent. Bonzo. Wait. Return.

[Speaker 2] Yeah. I’m spent on bonus actions. Fuck. Wait. But now that I’m near him, I’m also near my own axe.

[Speaker 2] I can pick that

[Speaker 0] up. Right? You got that.

[Speaker 3] I got it now?

[Speaker 0] Yeah. Yeah.

[Speaker 2] Thank you. Needed that.

[Speaker 0] Reequip debt collector.

[Speaker 2] I do want the kill shot, boys. I just wanna say that. I need it for the notches.

[Speaker 0] That’s And

[Speaker 2] so I desperately need the notches. Yeah. Let

[Speaker 3] me see. This example isn’t perfect.

[Speaker 0] Now I thought you would have already had them by now.

[Speaker 3] Be bad. How far away is this man

[Speaker 0] from me? From you, he is 20 feet.

[Speaker 3] In striking distance? Westerly. Westerly.

[Speaker 0] Basically, you’re at the door. Say you’re looking out at the door in front of you, 30 feet is Faf, Isilrod, Moghammer, and then to your right, 20 feet, is the man.

[Speaker 3] Okay. I’m gonna grab a a vine,

[Speaker 2] like, try

[Speaker 3] and chop off a little piece of vine and and, like, lassoed around his neck so I can grapple him.

[Speaker 0] It’s a very bold bold move. Yeah. But I like it. And

[Speaker 3] so my grappling is the target must succeed on a strength, dexterity

[Speaker 0] saving throw. Let’s yeah. You gotta roll a d 21st to see if we can do this. Okay. Improvised weapon.

[Speaker 0] No. Alright. Yeah. The vine, you grab it. You lasso it.

[Speaker 0] It hits his neck. It’s perfect. As soon as you tug on it, it dissipates. It’s too weak of a line. K.

[Speaker 0] My bony section is

[Speaker 3] as a I can use a range attack, and I haven’t used this yet, but I have a blow gun. So I’m gonna blow and shoot the blow gun dart

[Speaker 0] into Yeah. His neck.

[Speaker 3] Good cut. And I can use this as my my Kensei weapon, which is a monk trait that I got when I when

[Speaker 2] I made it to level 3. Yeah. Before that. So

[Speaker 3] I do this. I can roll an extra 1 d 4 damage of the weapons type. I don’t have a blow gun. I don’t know what my blow gun does. So would it just be just an arm attack?

[Speaker 0] Yeah. Well, I don’t know. I don’t know. What does it say? Without poison without the dart being put in poison, its damage is just pure 1.

[Speaker 0] 1? Yeah. So it definitely hits. It always hits. It’s pure 1 damage.

[Speaker 3] Okay. Alright. I’m gonna use it, and then I get to add an extra 1 d for damage.

[Speaker 0] No. No? Mm-mm. It’s not with the blue gun.

[Speaker 2] But it’s a Kensei

[Speaker 0] weapon, I think.

[Speaker 3] So it’s my monk it’s my monk specialty.

[Speaker 0] Goddamn it. I don’t know. Alright. It does 4 well, no.

[Speaker 2] We’ll split the baby.

[Speaker 0] We’ll split the baby. You gotta learn this shit better.

[Speaker 1] We’re gonna

[Speaker 0] call it 2 damage.

[Speaker 3] 2 damage?

[Speaker 0] Yeah.

[Speaker 3] Alright.

[Speaker 0] Alright. And we’re back to your boy. Yeah. In here. Let me blow on.

[Speaker 0] Wait. Me? Let me blow yeah. It’s you.

[Speaker 4] I cast dissonant whispers.

[Speaker 1] I thought I was alive again. Oh.

[Speaker 0] 0, right. Yeah. You took damage. Yeah. Yeah.

[Speaker 2] You’re alive. Victim. Right. Yes.

[Speaker 1] Yeah. I rolled a nat 20 on my death save, and I whispers.

[Speaker 3] Fucking goddamn.

[Speaker 1] Fuck. Yeah. And he’s up. I rolled a nat 20. Turn.

[Speaker 1] The creature know, but it was my turn on.

[Speaker 4] Alright. The creature When

[Speaker 1] get him wrong when I get him wrong, fucking god.

[Speaker 0] 11, wisdom

[Speaker 4] saving throw. If it fails, I roll 3 d 6 damage.

[Speaker 0] That fails.

[Speaker 1] 3 d 6. Let’s go. That’s the

[Speaker 2] Oof. Heavy hits. 13. 13.

[Speaker 4] Okay. Then bonus action. I double dagger in his groin. I cross cross arm. I’m too

[Speaker 0] far I’m too far away. I’ve caught myself. I throw. Okay. Is that You guys prospect.

[Speaker 4] Oh, yeah. Fucking prospect.

[Speaker 0] I think I know you’re. Yeah. Yeah. These smart voices are making me fat.

[Speaker 4] What do I do again? Well, I see what I do. Do I roll d 20 and then do the

[Speaker 2] D 20 plus whatever you

[Speaker 1] hit other hit. D 20

[Speaker 0] to hit. You always start with a d 20.

[Speaker 4] Right. Right. Right. Right. It’s an 8.

[Speaker 0] No. Alright. That’s not gonna be yeah. That’s not gonna the the Jim Simpson bow shoots wide even though it’s a very strong weapon. And it’s back to Jabari’s turn.

[Speaker 0] You stupid mother of fuckers.

[Speaker 2] What about Moghammer? Is he still he’s still wiggling around?

[Speaker 0] Is he gonna be fascinated? No way to save him. He doesn’t get a roll just a 2nd.

[Speaker 2] I’m gonna I’m gonna moghammer.

[Speaker 0] Okay. He cast scorching ray again on u 3. And he included? Yeah. Dude, I can’t

[Speaker 2] keep taking all this damage.

[Speaker 0] All 3 of y’all included.

[Speaker 2] K. So we’re rolling d twenties? I’m rolling.

[Speaker 0] 19. You’re

[Speaker 1] holy ghost.

[Speaker 3] Oh god.

[Speaker 0] All of y’all get hit. It’s 2 d.

[Speaker 2] I don’t get to you.

[Speaker 0] It’s 2 d 6. Y’all can decide if it’s the same at each person or not.

[Speaker 2] I’m gonna say not. Not? Yeah. Last time we got fucked up.

[Speaker 0] Alright. You’re 1st, then you, then you. That is a nat 20, so that’s a 6. So it’s 11 damage to you.

[Speaker 2] Fucking Christ.

[Speaker 1] Who are in nat 20? 6.

[Speaker 0] 0, 11. 6. 7 damage to you. And then for his bonus action, he casts drain vitality. 1 creature within 30 feet must make a d c 14 constitution save.

[Speaker 0] He puts that on Bonzo. And after it, whatever you roll in d 20, add your constitution modifier.

[Speaker 3] Oh, god. Oh, god.

[Speaker 0] Constitution. What is that? 11. What’s this constitution?

[Speaker 3] It’s a 13. 13. Oh.

[Speaker 0] We hate to hear it. It hits. So you then take 2 d 6. I can roll them now. Alright.

[Speaker 0] Oh. Only 3 damage. I see a 3 left. 3 damage. Oh, you have 3 left total?

[Speaker 3] Are you down? I’m down.

[Speaker 0] Alright. So you’re down, and then the screech of gains, HP equal to half. Mounds up. So, yeah, 2 2 2 And then it is Bodius’ turn around.

[Speaker 1] Alright. I’m I’ve been looking around. Is is Lilith still, like, hiding in the fog or whatever?

[Speaker 0] She’s kind of, like, on the

[Speaker 1] edge. Okay. I’m going to sprint

[Speaker 0] to Lilith. Okay. And that’s the entire of your movement speed, or you’re right there or whatever?

[Speaker 1] I run and tackle her. Oh. And I hold the blade to her, and I yell to this guy. I’m like Oh, fuck. Chill, bro.

[Speaker 0] When my He quakens for a 2nd, and then his gaze rotates to you and says,

[Speaker 1] you. That’s all he does? Kill her.

[Speaker 4] I’m like, you sure?

[Speaker 0] I’ll fucking do it. We’re yeah. It’s your day.

[Speaker 2] Christ. Far away from this dude am I?

[Speaker 0] 20

[Speaker 1] feet. During this attack, I can kinda be having, like, a private conversation with with Lilith. Being like, what the fuck?

[Speaker 2] What the fuck? I’m so here’s here’s my quandary. I’m worried I’m gonna die on this next turn. I’m gonna get knocked. I’m gonna get toppled.

[Speaker 2] And then it’s just Isilrod by himself. It’s just us too

[Speaker 0] that are still up.

[Speaker 1] Oh, body assist. Right? But I’m Yeah. I basically He has 1 hit point. I’ve got her on the ground on top of me.

[Speaker 1] I’m doing kind of like a koala bear thing. And I’ve got

[Speaker 0] I do have 3 potions

[Speaker 4] of healing, but I need people within 5 feet

[Speaker 1] of me.

[Speaker 2] I’m, like, right next to you.

[Speaker 4] You are?

[Speaker 0] Yeah. Weird. Yeah. Y’all are close.

[Speaker 2] Yeah. Okay. Well, let’s let’s fucking cook. I take Moghammer.

[Speaker 1] He I thought he was already up. He just was gagged.

[Speaker 0] Yeah. He’s still bound and gagged.

[Speaker 2] Oh, unbound unbinding, unbag ungagged Moghammer.

[Speaker 0] Okay. That’s his that’s your turn.

[Speaker 1] That’s my turn. Now it’s Moghammer’s turn.

[Speaker 2] Moghammer used Scrapletop. No. No.

[Speaker 0] God damn it. Knew he he hasn’t just come up and have his turn immediately.

[Speaker 2] Moghammer has a fucking raffle time.

[Speaker 0] We gotta roll his initiative and see where he falls.

[Speaker 2] Alright. Fine. Fuck with him. Fuck with Moghammer. Let’s go.

[Speaker 2] 15.

[Speaker 0] No. Okay. So that’s still that’s if it was your turn

[Speaker 2] Plus 4. 19.

[Speaker 0] Then it is gonna be oh, well, that’s even worse for you. Then it’s gonna rotate back around. What?

[Speaker 2] Okay. Fine. Whatever’s better is what we want.

[Speaker 0] Whatever’s better for y’all? Or For Moghammer to strike now. Well, Moghammer won’t be be striking now regardless based on that role. If it’s 15 or 19, he’s gonna be either in the end of the pack or a couple turns away. Doesn’t matter.

[Speaker 0] Moghammer is going after Isilrod. I’m giving him 15, which is closer to his that’s moving him quicker to his turn than otherwise. Alright. That’s your action. What are you doing next, Faf?

[Speaker 2] Faf can’t do anything. So you get

[Speaker 1] 1 action. Bonus action if you want to do it.

[Speaker 2] I do get a bonus action.

[Speaker 1] You always have your mask? Or you always have a an action and a bonus action. What?

[Speaker 2] No. I thought you have to I I They’re 2

[Speaker 1] separate things.

[Speaker 2] No. I have to burn the bonus actions. Oh, yeah. You only hit.

[Speaker 0] Sir Right. Different He only he his class only has a couple bonus actions that are dispensable. Okay.

[Speaker 2] I do have a, like, an extra super special bonus action, but I don’t know if I

[Speaker 1] should use that right now.

[Speaker 0] Well, regardless, it’s up to you. Do you wanna use it, or are we moving on?

[Speaker 2] I mean, fuck it. Special? Yeah. I’m gonna use my action surge, and I’m gonna sprint at this motherfucker. Dragging axe, cash, waddle sprint.

[Speaker 0] Right. You’re out. Swing it high. Yeah.

[Speaker 2] Swing it low. Regrip.

[Speaker 0] Roll. Yeah. Come on. Come on. Come on.

[Speaker 0] Come Come on. Damn. You know that hits. Alright. That’s a banging hit.

[Speaker 0] What’s the bandage? This

[Speaker 2] is the fucking debt collector 3 notch. Let’s see what we got here. Alright. We’re gonna go 1 b 10.

[Speaker 4] Come on,

[Speaker 2] 8 plus 4. 12 demage. 12. Oh, I use unwavering mark and topple.

[Speaker 0] Wait. How much does unwavering mark cost?

[Speaker 2] Unwavering mark, I this is my 1st use of unwavering mark. And when I hit with a melee weapon, you mark the creature until the end of my next turn. Mhmm. While it is within 5 feet of you, a marked creature has disadvantage on any attack roll that doesn’t target you. If the marked creature deals damage to anyone else, you make a special melee attack against it on your next turn as a bonus action with advantage and plus 1 extra damage.

[Speaker 2] You make this attack 3 times per long range.

[Speaker 0] Alright. Bet believe that. Believe that. Great.

[Speaker 2] And topple. You’re only fucking ground. Okay. Wait. No.

[Speaker 0] Does unwavering mark cost a

[Speaker 2] I gotta click little box to say I use 1 of my 3 unwavering marks, and topple is just matter of fact, I hit you with my fucking debt collector.

[Speaker 0] Alright. Believe that. No. No. That that cooks.

[Speaker 0] Okay. That cooks. Go. You’re broke. I’m You’re broke.

[Speaker 3] Yeah. I’m down. So roll? He’s broke.

[Speaker 1] Yeah. You gotta roll for your

[Speaker 0] Yeah. For death saving throws.

[Speaker 1] If you roll a d 20, you get back up. But, otherwise, it’s like a complicated thing.

[Speaker 3] So I think that

[Speaker 1] is a fail.

[Speaker 3] That’s a 9.

[Speaker 2] Remind me to never throw my accident.

[Speaker 1] You get 3 fails and 3 saves, and when it whichever 1 you get 1st is, like, you either die or you get back up.

[Speaker 0] Well, hold on.

[Speaker 4] How far am I to go through?

[Speaker 0] You’re you are

[Speaker 1] You can also throw You’re

[Speaker 0] you’re within Shadowmast. You can throw

[Speaker 1] a health potion at them to get them up as well.

[Speaker 2] You should beam me in the head of the health potion because he’s disincentivized to attack anyone other than me right now.

[Speaker 3] How much do you

[Speaker 2] have right now? 9.

[Speaker 0] Yeah. So, Bonzo, when you’re down, you get if you roll 3 sub 10 numbers before you roll 3 plus 10 numbers, you’re fucking dead.

[Speaker 3] I’m dead. Yeah.

[Speaker 1] But if you roll 3 plus tens, then you’re up.

[Speaker 3] Okay. Yeah. So you

[Speaker 0] basically have 6 rolls. Yeah. In the worst case scenario, you roll 3 ones or 3 nines in a row, and you’re fucking dead. Your character’s deleted. It’s never coming back.

[Speaker 0] You will be dead. Damn. So you are in a death trap right now.

[Speaker 1] Damn. He’s acting like he’s never been there before. Right. Yeah. Bro, I’m here every battle getting that shit.

[Speaker 1] I know. I’m serious. Dismant Whispers

[Speaker 4] again this time level 2 because I just realized out of level 2. 11 wisdom saving throw.

[Speaker 0] Okay. 13 fucking. Bitch. Sigh. The

[Speaker 1] casual tosses are elite.

[Speaker 0] How do you the bark information to redo that?

[Speaker 1] Oh, dude. I have her.

[Speaker 3] Yeah. That’s.

[Speaker 4] Yeah. You’re right. Yeah. Y’all forgot

[Speaker 1] about that. Am I am I having a little combo since you make you reroll? No.

[Speaker 4] I give my potion of healing to

[Speaker 0] to Bonzo.

[Speaker 2] Thank you.

[Speaker 4] Chains as a bonus action. Do you drink it or administer it to you? That creature drinks the magical red fluid in this vial. Regains 2 d 4 plus 2 hit points.

[Speaker 2] 1

[Speaker 3] 3. So 6. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

[Speaker 4] Alright. Then

[Speaker 0] It is the man’s turn again.

[Speaker 2] No. It is not. It is Moghammer’s turn.

[Speaker 0] Oh, yeah. It is not.

[Speaker 2] Oh my god. It is Moghammer’s turn. Little tongue lash at your ass hitting you with that grapple tongue, boy. Damn. Where’d it go?

[Speaker 2] It was right there. Oh. 0, fuck. I thought I was picking up oh, let me just retoss. 20.

[Speaker 2] Not 20, baby.

[Speaker 0] That’s not 20. That tongue slashes forth, rips, triple a, right within Shadow and Range. He’s grappled. Is he?

[Speaker 2] Yeah. Until Moghammer lets him go, he is stuck. When everyone else’s attacks have advantage.

[Speaker 1] My god, Eve. Are you

[Speaker 2] Yeah, dude. That’s what Chatti Muktow says.

[Speaker 0] No. I gave you the

[Speaker 2] Everyone gets advantage. Card.

[Speaker 1] You do. There’s a whole there was a whole thing on Moghammer.

[Speaker 0] Where is Moghammer card? Feel like you’re just, like, ignoring this.

[Speaker 1] Where is the Moghammer card?

[Speaker 2] You know?

[Speaker 1] You write all that down?

[Speaker 0] Tongue lash. The toe lashes out its tongue at a creature within 15 feet. Okay. So the creature wasn’t within 15 feet, so the tongue doesn’t even lash that far.

[Speaker 2] Mark can travel in distance so then lash. You know, I hit that 20 and let it happen.

[Speaker 0] He can move speed 20 feet, so he does get close enough. Yeah. He hits it. I failed. He gets pulled 15 feet forward and is grappled.

[Speaker 0] Alright. Grappled. That’s fair. Grappled

[Speaker 2] Means everyone else gets this hit with advantage right now next turn. You can’t get ungrappled till I swallow you or you fucking

[Speaker 0] No. Gravel means speed becomes 0, so he can’t move. Yeah. And they grapple it. That’s all it means.

[Speaker 0] You cannot

[Speaker 2] move. It doesn’t mean you have disadvantage on attack rolls, disadvantage on dexterity staves. No.

[Speaker 4] And So you can still cast spells and shit.

[Speaker 2] You can still cast spells, but

[Speaker 0] but No. There’s no disadvantage component to it. Grapple means speed becomes 0 and can’t benefit from bonus movement. So he’s trapped near a moghammer. That’s what yeah.

[Speaker 2] Take what we can get. And it’s Shago’s turn.

[Speaker 0] It’s with it’s the guy’s turn.

[Speaker 1] Oh my god. It’s Shago? Jesus. For fucking Christ. We’ve looking just Mother.

[Speaker 1] Just

[Speaker 2] make it canon. Just be like, you trap me with a you trap Chago with a toad?

[Speaker 1] I have been trying to have I learned anything talking to this chick while I have her trapped, and I’m trying to I’m trying to barter with her and shit the whole time while everybody’s been fighting?

[Speaker 0] You’ve only learned about her hatred and love for Shago.

[Speaker 1] That’s what she’s been talking about? A complex mind.

[Speaker 3] Oh my god. Did she

[Speaker 0] know this?

[Speaker 2] I’m so sorry. Did she know this?

[Speaker 0] Anyways, it’s his turn. And god damn. Fucker. And he close so who did he who you’re next to Moghammer, Faf. All 4 of y’all.

[Speaker 0] Right?

[Speaker 4] The 3 of us and Moghammer altogether. Alright.

[Speaker 2] Moghammer kinda lunged for then.

[Speaker 0] He cast Thunder Wave, a 15 foot cube originating from himself. Everyone do a constitution roll.

[Speaker 1] Which he he has disadvantage, right, on

[Speaker 4] that too. Well, we were all 16 feet away

[Speaker 2] from him.

[Speaker 1] Well, he still got the he still got the thing that

[Speaker 2] he gave him with cleave. Yeah. He’s he’s toppled too. He’s got the toppled. Snatched off the ground.

[Speaker 2] But Oh,

[Speaker 1] from the from the cleave. He’s got the disadvantage because if you don’t if he doesn’t attack if he attacks anybody other than Faf,

[Speaker 2] I get to attack in the meantime.

[Speaker 1] Just read the read the actual thing.

[Speaker 0] The prone condition.

[Speaker 2] Talk you’re talking about unwavering march?

[Speaker 1] Yeah. Unwavering mark.

[Speaker 2] When you hit with a melee weapon attack, you can mark the creature until

[Speaker 0] the end

[Speaker 2] of your next turn.

[Speaker 0] Not not an unwavering mark. It’s the Topple? Topple can only crawl. The topple creates the prone condition. If you

[Speaker 2] hit a creature with a battle axe, you can force the creature to make a constitution saving throw a d c 8 plus 10 millimetres. Have disadvantage. On a failed save, decree has a prone condition.

[Speaker 0] Attack rolls have disadvantage. It does have disadvantage. But Thundering Wave is not an attack roll. It’s a spell save. It’s not a spell attack.

[Speaker 0] It’s a spell save. So continuing as we were. What am I rolling with? Competition. Glass, which

[Speaker 2] is That’s nat 20.

[Speaker 0] Nat 20. Alright. You’re good.

[Speaker 1] 10. Just keep pulling this off. What’s your modifier?

[Speaker 2] For what? What is it we’re looking for? Constitution?

[Speaker 0] Yeah. 14. Constitution. That saves. Oh, let’s go.

[Speaker 1] And Isilrod? Isilrod. Throw throw d 20 out there. I think the toad has to save as well. Fuck.

[Speaker 4] Oh, that’s not a save. My god.

[Speaker 2] Toad save?

[Speaker 0] Yeah. Toad save? 15.

[Speaker 4] That

[Speaker 0] saves. Alright. Isilrod, you gotta take 2 d 8 damage. 2 d 8. Damn.

[Speaker 0] Oh, fuck. You

[Speaker 2] could roll level ones. You could roll snake eyes. You don’t know.

[Speaker 0] What do you want? You want a d 20 instead? Yeah.

[Speaker 4] Do that. Oh, 2 d

[Speaker 0] 8. Woah. Well, I I have trouble finding the d eights.

[Speaker 1] 2 d eights are probably D 8 20 worse. Like that.

[Speaker 2] It’s weird

[Speaker 0] if I can d

[Speaker 2] 8 They look like a diamond, dude.

[Speaker 0] Alright. Yeah. You’re right. Here. Here.

[Speaker 0] I got them. I got them.

[Speaker 1] 10. Got 10. Oh

[Speaker 2] god. That was a thicky. Oh god. You got it, bro?

[Speaker 3] I got 6.

[Speaker 2] You got 6 left? Yeah.

[Speaker 0] So top down? 11. Alright. That is the end of the man’s turn except for he actually cast bonus action, drain vitality. What the fuck?

[Speaker 0] Faf. Roll

[Speaker 2] I’m gonna die if you do this to me.

[Speaker 0] Yeah. Roll a a constitution saving throw. It’s this 1? It’s a d 20 plus your constitution modifier.

[Speaker 1] 1 casual enough. Yep.

[Speaker 3] Yeah. 4.

[Speaker 1] Sounds like a 7. I got plus 4, so

[Speaker 0] 7. It is 2D667.

[Speaker 2] I got 2 life forms of.

[Speaker 1] You bitch. You you used to have fucking a 100 HP on this entire fucking bite. My job.

[Speaker 2] I’m a

[Speaker 0] tank, dude.

[Speaker 1] Alright. Here we go. Okay. So this chick, I’ve been I’ve been talking to her. There’s basically no leverage here.

[Speaker 1] I’m just I’m basically just cuddling with every year, and she and she all she wants to talk about is how she loves an A’s Chago.

[Speaker 0] Well yeah. Yeah.

[Speaker 1] Alright. Well She

[Speaker 0] but she also says, I gave a weapon. She gave a weapon.

[Speaker 2] Did she give a weapon to her? Oh, fuck. Diesel. Diesel rather they have a special weapon.

[Speaker 1] Does it not wanna use it? I just yell, yo, Isilrod, what the fuck, dude? As I and I’m eyeballing him, and I just fucking blitz this motherfucker. I got the blade in 1 hand, and I’m and I blitz this motherfucker with another. Wait.

[Speaker 2] Wait. Wait. With an Eldritch blast?

[Speaker 4] Eldritch blast. It’s got talking

[Speaker 1] to ease no. No. While I’m talking to Isilrod, I’m Eldritch blasting. You know? I’m I’m multitasking.

[Speaker 1] And I’m making it look cool because I’m, like, talking to him while I’m blasting him. Alright. Alright. Yeah. Roll.

[Speaker 0] This is spell attack, so it’s basically like

[Speaker 2] a 20. Nat 20. Let’s go.

[Speaker 4] Quick. Can share what I have? Yeah.

[Speaker 2] What you got?

[Speaker 4] The whole, like, Moghammer grappling Chago really makes it tough because I got a fucking bomb. Oh. And everyone’s been really close the

[Speaker 2] whole time. I didn’t think I could say.

[Speaker 1] Everyone’s just I was actually thinking, you know,

[Speaker 0] like, Shago.

[Speaker 3] Yeah. Don’t blow the don’t blow

[Speaker 2] the toe.

[Speaker 1] I’ve got I’ve got

[Speaker 2] This is okay.

[Speaker 4] It also does less damage than a Dissonant Whispers if Dissonant Whispers hits, which is why I was sticking with that.

[Speaker 1] I’ve also got Biskarr’s Bastardly Brew, which is guaranteed 15 HP each hit. But it might make him go in a Berserker Rage, or it might make him which I’m I mean, I’m gonna pull that out probably at some point, but I I elder blast it. Alright.

[Speaker 0] Hey. You gotta you gotta you gotta match 1 in. What’s happening?

[Speaker 1] I’m elder blasting. 0. 0. 0, wait. Wait.

[Speaker 1] Wait. And I and I’m oh, wait. No. No. I don’t.

[Speaker 1] Do I?

[Speaker 2] How much else this guy got left?

[Speaker 0] No. I don’t know.

[Speaker 2] Neither do I. Can we perceive that?

[Speaker 1] D 10. It’s a 1 plus 3 is 4.

[Speaker 0] Well, wait. Wait.

[Speaker 1] Wait. What?

[Speaker 2] That wasn’t a d 10. That was a d 8.

[Speaker 1] What’s the not 20 do?

[Speaker 0] Read that in a crit. Double roll. Yeah.

[Speaker 2] That that was a d 8 you roll. Roll a d 10.

[Speaker 1] It was a d 10. Oh. It’s a critical hit. It was 3 on 1 and twice. A 10 plus 13, or it’s 13 plus 4.

[Speaker 1] Wait. So yeah. Yeah. Yeah. 13 plus 4.

[Speaker 1] The 1st 1 was 4. This 1 was another 10. Alright. 101317. 17.

[Speaker 1] Alright.

[Speaker 0] The eldritch glass rips through this man’s Jarvis. The bed and blows it clean.

[Speaker 2] Oh, I like it. So yeah.

[Speaker 0] And he he flops to the ground.

[Speaker 2] I needed the kill shot.

[Speaker 0] Goddamn. He he flops to the ground.

[Speaker 1] That was pretty cool. I was, like, talking. As the head

[Speaker 0] flies back into the fogginess, disintegrated. Lilith lets out a cry underneath Bodius’ knife, and the cry could be interpreted as pure despair or pure relief. Mhmm.

[Speaker 1] I reckon we got some we got some talking to do here about what just happened. Yeah. Lilith, any thoughts?

[Speaker 2] Yeah. The fuck was that, bitch?

[Speaker 0] Shago was a great man, but a lost soul. He led Mosquito into that temple because he could not himself enter. And he brought y’all into that temple to fetch what Mosquito failed to do. Because he

[Speaker 1] was blessed by that little wood nymph.

[Speaker 0] When Chago was a boy, he traveled these jungles. He knew this area better than anyone, and he has always been in pursuit of the relic that lies within this temple. But he could not enter because the blessed him as a boy.

[Speaker 1] What’s the what is the relic?

[Speaker 0] It’s just the money. He was just looking for

[Speaker 1] he’s searching his whole life for more money.

[Speaker 0] Aren’t we all? That’s really sad.

[Speaker 2] How much money are we talking about?

[Speaker 1] Yeah. How much money? Yeah. How much money is going in there. I don’t know.

[Speaker 1] There was nothing even in there.

[Speaker 0] Yeah. Know they could fetch nothing in Chult, but in Baldur’s Gate, it could be sold for 10,000 GP at least. Mhmm. Okay. Well I fear, though, that Shago wasn’t just in search of the money, which tragic enough as it is.

[Speaker 0] I don’t think he was just here for that. I think that he’s used this temple before to capture, to trap, to surprise other as he surprised y’all and as he surprised Mosquito. So we don’t know what for what 4 ends he did that. It’s something beyond money, but that that relic, if y’all made it out with it, would fetch an extreme price. And I am sorry that

[Speaker 1] I led y’all here. Were you looking for Chago?

[Speaker 0] I knew Chago was waiting for you. I I brought you here because I left him. But And

[Speaker 3] you’ve led you surround like that.

[Speaker 0] You guys bathed under a waterfall together? At the waterfall, I realized something. I do not expect you to forgive me.

[Speaker 2] Did you participate in the tying of my toad? No. I you Were you complicit in the tying of

[Speaker 0] my toad? No. I asked you so, Rhalzar.

[Speaker 2] Is Rhalzar? How did the toad get toad?

[Speaker 4] Is shut shut.

[Speaker 0] Tell them the truth, Isilrod.

[Speaker 4] Does yeah. Oh, wait.

[Speaker 1] It’s a little hazy. I think

[Speaker 4] he cast that, like, minor delusion spell on me, so I wouldn’t wouldn’t be totally sure. She was a part of it.

[Speaker 0] I’ve admitted that already, but I did not I did not bind you.

[Speaker 2] How did you get to that?

[Speaker 4] You let it happen. So, like

[Speaker 0] I let it happen. I’ll confess to that, but I took no active part in what’s unfolding. Inaction is a formula.

[Speaker 2] Who tied up my toad?

[Speaker 1] It sounds like that guy did.

[Speaker 2] The man.

[Speaker 1] I’m having a hard time. I mean, can we trust you? I just don’t

[Speaker 2] I feel compelled to irrationally kill this bitch right now.

[Speaker 4] Look. I think she could have and would have killed us.

[Speaker 2] I’m Faf Drobbin. Wanted to.

[Speaker 1] Oh, if she would. So you don’t think she

[Speaker 4] would have killed us? I think she could have and would have, but something compelled her not to act, which is still an action of sorts.

[Speaker 2] You guys are gonna have to, like, stop me because I’m charging with the axe to chop her head off.

[Speaker 1] Eyes. Wait. Wait. Wait.

[Speaker 2] You stopped me?

[Speaker 1] Okay. Yeah.

[Speaker 4] I mean, we got something really valuable from this temple. And end of the day, she saved us, and I think honed our fighting abilities. Because that

[Speaker 0] guy was kind of fucking crazy,

[Speaker 4] and we probably didn’t do a great job handling him. So maybe Oh,

[Speaker 3] it would’ve been nice to know we had

[Speaker 1] a Our toadless triad.

[Speaker 0] Well, I didn’t know. Toadless triad shit

[Speaker 2] didn’t even the bomb. We didn’t get to use it.

[Speaker 1] We didn’t even execute on the toad toadless triad’s kiss. It all fell apart from the get. Yeah.

[Speaker 3] The whole plan.

[Speaker 1] Yeah. I did derail

[Speaker 2] it by throwing the axe immediately.

[Speaker 1] And then the mace. Yeah. And then the mace. That’s a good you you always need more weapons

[Speaker 0] weapons on on you. You. Mhmm. Yeah.

[Speaker 1] I’m gonna need And I need medium armor, or I’m gonna fucking die every fucking fight that we have. It’s so fucked.

[Speaker 0] In in the wake of Shago’s body is desecrated on the ground, decisions are to be made about what happens to Lilith. An admitted conspirator, the 1 that perhaps was trapped is for y’all to decide. But in this, the golden statue resounds, echoes within Bodius’s pocket, and everyone feels leveled up. Oh.

[Speaker 2] Uh-huh. Oh, yeah.

[Speaker 0] K. It’s noon. It’s noontime in the Chultan Jungle, and the temple of Kayakhan has been defeated. Wherefore does our party go next next with a hostage, a friend, a lover, you sorta? Well, decide on the next chapter of the tip of the die sparer.

[Speaker 2] This is

[Speaker 0] somewhat way too long. Yeah. Well, not there.

[Speaker 3] That was a good discussion.

[Speaker 1] I wanna have, like, everybody’s,

[Speaker 0] like, leveling up hard right now.

[Speaker 3] That thing was Shago was a beast.

[Speaker 0] Shago was a

[Speaker 2] Kill us

[Speaker 0] all. Shago was a beast.